Advice On A New Friend, (this is a very long intro. post!) Options

[matildawong]

Hello, everyone.

Please forgive my barging in with this question. I have been lurking and now I find myself in a dilemma that I feel I may get some clarity out of by posting it here. (If that makes sense!?)

I am new here and have found great support and comfort (and shed many a tear) reading everyone's posts. Last week I lost my Mittens. She was 19 -- I adopted her when she was 10. She needed to be an only-cat household. I adored her. She went with me across the country and back; in planes and in cars. She suffered from CRF and almost 2 weeks ago she took a turn for the worse and I knew I had to help let her go. My vet was so wonderful. In fact, I didn't know how wonderful of a person/vet she was until that sad day. She helped me to stay in the room and be with Mitty (I was scared to see her go but knew I had to be there for Mittens.)

Fast forward and I am ready for a new friend/partner. I do know this. Not to replace M. but because my (former non-pet owner) fiance and I agree a cat-free household is much to lonesome!

My dilemma. At the 'no kill' shelter there are two girls. I love them both and I can only pick one. Micia is 11. She is a Maine Coon, crotchety, fabulous and has been at the shelter the longest. The (tougher) animal control officers tell me her time is running out. The (sweeter) volunteers with the non-profit say no, someone will adopt her. The animal control people tell me the Chief is the real boss and he knows Micia is really hard to place. She could get sent to the city shelter soon. I really like her. Though she can swat and hiss (I brushed her today and she was pretty nice.)

Melody is 6. She's sweet but very scared. Her owner died and her cat-roommate had more personality and was adopted. My heart melts a bit more for Melody because she's not as tough and sassy as Micia. She looks forlorn and it seems like she'd thrive with us. She probably has more time at the shelter than Micia because she isn't as attitude-ridden as Micia. But I fear no one will look past her shyness and see her cute personality.

They both would do well with us. We have an apartment and I'm only supposed to have one cat. Micia would do her own thing and I mean, sheesh, my fiance is crotchety, too. So there you go! Melody would hopefully thrive on affection and love from us.

My problem: I have this terrifying sense of condemning one or the other. The animal control lady looked teary-eyed when I suggested taking Melody. I think she thinks I am Micia's last chance. The animal control police-guy (so nice, has like 9 pets of his own from the shelter!) said I would be helping them no matter which one I choose.

I do know this: I want to take one of these two girls. I FEEL it, it's right for me. I will be ok once I decide, but the decision itself is really upsetting me. I try to think what Mittens would want, but come up empty. And doesn't that sound weird? But I think you know what I mean. My vet's office (works closely w/shelter, knows both cats) gently suggested Melody because they are aware that Mittens' treatment/decline/visits/meds/etc. really put a clinch on our wallets. (Not that we care!!! Not one bit!!! Just that maybe we should get a younger cat and build up our emergency fund again.)

Finally, thank you to anyone who has read through this emotional, long-winded post. I think I may have some relief just from writing it out. Goodness knows it's been bouncing around in my head so much. I do wonder if I'm channeling some of my grief into this situation but you know, I don't really think so. I tend to be emotional like this anyway.

Phew. Thanks again for letting me post this. Truly.

ETA: I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how to handle this decision. Thank you.

[matildawong]

Hi Love Them (hee hee!) .. and anyone else who might be reading!

I received Mittens' pawprint. While I'm very glad to have it, I must admit that upon receiving it I did not feel the lightning-bolt of closure that I sort of dreamt up in my mind and heart. I don't know what I was thinking. Still it matches closely to the botched plaster one I tried to make while Mitty was still alive (am I the only one who wonders about these types of things?)... I'm getting married in a few months and I think I'm taking the pawprint with me and then something of Melody's to have. Not like, pinned to my dress or anything (hahah. I crack myself up.) but maybe just take with me because we're traveling to the location.

In Melody news, she's doing about the same. She spends an awful lot of time under the bed. Though she now waits outside the bathroom door in the morning (even if door is open) when I shower. When she sees me coming she flees. On the weekend I had the brilliant idea to move her box into the cubby/hallway area. She used it once but then later I walked into the bedroom and she was in one of those tupperware storage bins, peeing on my clothes!!! Poor thing, her little face looked at me like, "Oh no!!! I didn't want to go out in the hall to my litterbox! I'm sorry!!"

From the time we come home (him at 3pm, me at 7pm) until I come in to bed (midnight) she stays under the bed, no matter how much we call/coax/bribe her. I feel so sorry for her. I really didn't think she would still be under the bed at this stage.

Of course, we love her and as fiance says, we will never give up on her! (so cute coming from a guy who never had a pet before Mittens) I just want her to feel safe and loved.