Alex, I Shall Love You Eternally, My Best Friend Ever! Options

[AngelCareOne]

I'm not really certain if I'm in the correct forum but given all the background and facts, it appears most certain that Alex was murdered. Was he sold? That's believable. Was he given away? Perhaps. Was he murdered? Well, I got to my Buddy dog and Styx kitty just in the nick of time before they were euthanized as strays. It is very believable that Alex was murdered. What is not believable are the stories that I was fed as to what happened to Alex because, scientifically speaking, it defies the laws of Physics ergo is impossible to have occurred on this plane of existence. Ummm ... Please forgive my tears. I will tell all about what happened but first, I want so much to speak with my Alex.

Alex - May 1, 1993 to October 16, 2007 Having had a life expectancy of around 40 years.

Dearest Alex, "Once I had the rarest rose that ever deigned to bloom. Cruel winter chilled the bud and stole my flower too soon." You're that rarest rose, my most cherished Alex. My heart beats for you and bleeds for you so still falls the rain.

I promised you that I'd always be there to protect you and keep you from the cold. I failed. Please forgive me! But, now "the floor of Heaven is laid with stars as bright as gold; They shine for you and burn for all to see!" I know you can't come back and set my spirit free but your spirit is free and that's what matters most. I Love You!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhG8zC4npsE

Alex, I truly thought I'd see you again. But "the plans they made put an end to you." I should have known. There were so many 'red flags' and I didn't see them. If only I had known then what I know now. I would have never let them take you into their "care" and none of this would have ever happened. I'm so sorry!

"Won't you look down upon me, Jesus? Will you help me make a stand and just get me through another day? Yes, my body's aching and my time is at hand so I don't know how I'll make it any other way. You know I've seen fire and rain and sunny days that I thought would never end." Even though I'm alone, I've never in my life felt lonely until I lost you, Sweet Alex. I miss you so much!

You're the very best friend I've ever had both human and animal. I can still remember our simple conversations, your funny, mischievous little pranks, your laughter and your tears. I remember the last words you said to me over and over again as you kissed me loudly, "I Love You! I Love You! I Love You!" Alex, I Love You, Too!

I just always thought I'd see you at least one more time again ...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-T35WXFOmwI

Dearest Alex,

"Sorry I never told you all I wanted to say. And now it's too late to hold you 'cause you've flown away. So far away ...

Never had I imagined living without your smile. Feeling and knowing you hear me. It keeps me alive. Alive!

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven like so many friends we've lost along the way.
And I know eventually we'll be together. One Sweet Day!

Picture a little scene from Heaven.

Darling I never showed you. Assumed you'd always be there. I took your presence for granted.
But I always cared! And I miss the love we shared!

Although the sun will never shine the same again. I'll always look to a brighter day.
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep. You will always listen as I pray!

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven like so many friends we've lost along the way.
And I know eventually we'll be together. One Sweet Day!

Picture a little scene from Heaven.

Sorry I never told you ... All I wanted to say ... "

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxauhK-sn2s

And Alex, "Who can say for certain maybe you're still here. I feel you all around me. Your memory's so clear.
Deep in the stillness, I can hear you speak. You're still an inspiration. Can it be ...

That you are my Forever Love. And you are watching over me from up above.

Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star.
I wish upon tonight to see you smile! If only for a while to know you're there.
A breath away's not far to where you are.

Are you gently sleeping here inside my dream? And isn't faith believing all power can't be seen.
As my heart holds you just one beat away, I cherish all you gave me everyday!

'Cause you are my Forever Love watching me from up above.
And I believe that Angels breathe and that Love will live on and never leave!

Fly me up to where you are, beyond the distant star!
I wish upon tonight to see you smile if only for a while to know you're there.
A breath away's not far to where you are.

I know you're there! A breath away's not far to where you are."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIAQCiMIEEQ

Most Precious Alex, Thank You for the very best 15 years, 5 months and 11 days of my life. Mere words cannot even begin to express how sorry I am that your life was cut so short. You were so very dear, sweet, loving, playful, intelligent, compassionate, trusting with such a kind and gentle mind and soul. You did not deserve what happened to you.

All three of them are now being held accountable for what they did, Alex. I promised you'd have earthly justice as long as there was one breath left in my body. That's what friends are for. Best friends! As for Heavenly Justice? Well, that's not my call but I'm sure that God will take care of it.

I'll meet you at the Rainbow Bridge, Alex! Until then, play, sing, dance, talk up a storm and have lots of fun. Party on and Be Happy! Okay? I Love You My Best Friend, Constant Companion and Feather Child!

All My Love Eternally,
Your Mama Angel xoxoxox

[AngelCareOne]

{{{{{{{ChibiStar}}}}}}} That's pretty much about the *biggest* reason that I didn't post John's (my lawyer's) last name nor email address. I feel just the same as you in that I would have been so very sorely tempted to hop the next jet, get myself over here and confront those three monsters. Ohhh, please know that this is very, very new to me in so far as expressing "anger." So, I do write poetry and draw because ... "Oh, Sush Up, Angel. ChibiStar understands and ya don't gotta defend yourself." Sorry about that Chibi but I felt the "need" to smack myself upside the head.

I have "in save" all correspondence between myself and John ... This email's tone is so very, very different from the others. Bless you and Beth and Dayna and ALL for giving me the courage and helping me find that "mean as heck" voice. Know what I mean? I think you do. Chibi? You mentioned "feeding those people some asphalt." Ummm ... May I watch? Kidding of course but THANK YOU, SWEETIE!!! THANK YOU AND BLESS YOU!!!

Okay, before addressing Buster and Jorge, I'm gonna do that thing that ANNOYS people so much. You guessed it. I'm gonna say "sorry" and here goes. As everyone can well imagine, I have not been sleeping (not even a nap) for up to 3 going on 4 days at a time, will then nap a short while, and then will start all over again. I ain't gonna tell ya about my emotional state during those waking hours because, as I've said before, I honest to gosh cannot bear to be pitied. I simply cannot. Here it comes ... I'm so sorry this response to you dear, wonderful people (Chibi and Buster and Jorge) is not what I REALLY FEEL IN MY HEART, MIND AND SOUL in expressing my DEEPEST GRATITUDE TO YOU!

You see, I only just woke up a couple minutes ago from one of those short naps, turned on my PC, came directly here and don't believe I'm quite awake yet. So, do expect a possible "edit" to this post once I have "inserted my IV of coffee." Of course, you know I really do not do "IV of coffee." I drink it just like others. OKAY, I AM RAMBLING AGAIN. Oops. Please, let me continue ...

{{{{{{{Buster and Jorge}}}}}}} Hey, you said "I'm sorry," too. Please don't be "sorry" for getting here when you did. I knew you'd come, Dear Ones. Yep, I did. THANK YOU SO MUCH for your Kindness and THANK YOU SO MUCH for your Wonderful compliments to my feather child Alex. Yes, tears are streaming down my cheek (the right one) as I type this to you both and Chibi.

You see ... Hey, I'm gonna go cry a bit more MOSTLY IN GRATITUDE TO ALL HERE FOR YOUR TREMENDOUS SUPPORT AT THIS HORRIBLY DEVASTATING LOSS AND THAT YOU ALL ... THAT YOU ... CARE! YOU UNDERSTAND!

Gonna stop now. Cannot see the screen. I will be back and probably edit this post since, as I'm sure you've seen by all that I've written thus far, this is the most EMOTIONAL post I've made. I will be SO EMBARRASSED about it after I rub all the sleep from my eyes and ... Gonna take a look around, have some more coffee and shall return.



I am so Gratefiul!

GOD BLESS YOU, CHIBI AND BUSTER AND JORGE!!! Ummm ... Either that or please "insert the deity" of your choice and again BLESS YOU!!!

Tons of HUGS and Much LOVE!

Always,
Angel xoxoxox