My Heart Hurts, ZOE Options

[Deanna]

HELLO PET LOVERS
I AM HURTING TO WHERE IT'S ALMOST UNBEARABLE. I NEED SOME SUPPORT ON HOW TO DEAL WITH MY LOSS.

I GREW UP WITH NO DESIRE TO HAVE A PET OF ANY KIND, HOWEVER, TWO YEARS AGO, A CO-WORKER OFFERED ME THE MOST ADORABLE WESTIE (PUPPY) THAT I HAD EVER SEEN. TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT, I FELL COMPLETELY IN LOVE WITH THIS DOG (NAMED ZOE), I LOVED HER MORE THAN ANYONE IN MY LIFE ...SHE WAS MY SHADOW. SHE SLEPT WITH ME, WOKE UP WITH ME, WE PLAYED TOGETHER IN THE MORNINGS IN BETWEEN ME TRYING TO GET MYSELF READY FOR WORK, I LIVE CLOSE TO WORK, I'D COME HOME AND PLAY AND WE'D HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER ...I CAME HOME TO HER AFTER WORK SEEING HER JUMPING UP N' DOWN AT MY FRONT DOOR...ONCE I GOT IN...SHE JUMPED UP AND DOWN ON MY LEG UNTIL I PICKED HER UP (IN WHICH I DID ALMOST IMMEDIATELY), GAVE HER KISSES, RUBBING HER BACK AS SHE LICKED MY FACE. WE BOTH FELT THE LOVE AND AFFECTION FOR EACH OTHER ALL DAY EVERY DAY. AFTER DINNER, SHE GAVE ME "THE LOOK" THAT IT WAS TIME FOR OUR EVENING WALK. AFTER OUR WALK WE WOULD COME HOME AND RELAX AND PLAY UNTIL IT WAS TIME TO GO TO BED TO WAKE UP TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. I NEED TO MENTION, I HAVE A LOVING HUSBAND AND TWO KIDS, THAT ADORED ZOE AS WELL, BUT NOTHING LIKE I DID. I WAS GUILTY OF GIVING ZOE MORE AFFECTION THAN TO THEM, BUT THEY UNDERSTOOD, THEY KNEW I WAS ATE UP WITH HER.

WELL, ON LAST THURSDAY (JUNE 12TH) OF ALL DAYS ...(MY BIRTHDAY)...ZOE AND I WERE HEADED INTO THE HOUSE AFTER OUR WALK, ( I ALWAYS UNCLIP HER LEASH ONCE WE'RE ON THE PORCH) ... MY NEIGHBOR HOLLORED AT ME THAT SHE NEEDED TO TALK. ZOE AND I WALKED OVER TO HER PORCH...ZOE ALWAYS WOULD STAY IN OUR YARD AND SHE WOULD FOLLOW ME IF I WALKED OVER TO MY NEIGHBOR ...HOWEVER, ZOE SPOTTED A SMALL RABBIT HOPPING IN THE NEXT YARD AND MADE A MAD DASH TO CATCH IT, RUNNING INTO THE STREET AND SHE GOT RUN OVER, SHE WAS KILLED INSTANTLY. I RAN OUT TO THE STREET, PICKED HER UP, LOOKING INTO HER FACE, SAYING HER NAME OVER AND OVER AND KISSING HER, PLEASE DON'T GO...BUT SHE WAS GONE. FROM THAT MOMENT, I CAN'T SLEEP, EAT, OR BARELY FUNCTION TO GO ON WITH MY NORMAL DAILY ROUTINE. MY FAMILY THINKS I SHOULD BE OVER THE DEVASTATION BUT THE ACCIDENT RUNS THROUGH MY MIND A HUNDRED TIMES A DAY. I HAVE ACCEPTED SHES PASSED, WE BURIED HER IN THE BACK YARD, I HAVE HER A BEAUTIFUL MEMORIAL STONE AND FLOWERS WITH HER PICTURE. I LOOK OUT MY WINDOWS OF MY HOUSE AND SEE HER BURIAL SPOT AND IT JUST KILLS ME. SHE WAS SO SPECIAL IN MY LIFE AND I KNOW THERE WILL NEVER BE ANOTHER ZOE. I MISS HER SOOOOO MUCH, I AM CONTINUOUSLY LOOKING FOR HER TO COME AROUND THE CORNER OF ANY ROOM. PULLING UP IN MY DRIVEWAY FROM WORK IS THE ABSOLUTE HARDEST THING NOT SEEING HER ADORABLE LITTLE FACE AT THE DOOR.

I FOUND THIS WEBSITE TO POSSIBLY GET SOME SUPPORT, I WOULD APPRECIATE ANY.
THANKS IN ADVANCE

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[goliath]

Your loss of Zoe is so recent and I don't think the missing of one so loved ever passes Deanna. But with time and support from others it can help ease the pain. Coming here to LS to express our pain and loss definately helps and leads us to inspiration of hope to learn to continue living in a happy and healthy way. The people here help me beyond what my words can even express. My heart goes out to you.

There were many things I did to help myself get started taking those first steps toward healing. My first writings of Goliath brought many thoughts from others that were genuine because they also felt the crippling effects that come after having lost their own furloves. You can read for yourself in the Death & Dying section about many who have begun their journey of healing one step at a time down a very long and weary road. Many have found their way to a happier and healthier life that isn't so empty anymore.

I was left completely lost when my Goliath passed away so suddenly. Each time I thought of bringing a new puppy into our home and hearts, I felt guilty for even thinking it. I felt as though I was betraying Goliath. After I realized Goliath left me with far more than grief when the angels took him to Heaven, I knew in my heart he would want me to continue sharing all the love I have in my heart for a new baby sister or baby brother.

On April 26th of this year we were blessed in finding our way to Browser. Though Browser cannot ever replace Goliath, and I wouldn't want him to, he too quickly filled our home and hearts with a new and special kind of love. Each has his own little unique personality. Goliath knew how to bring smiles and laughter and so does Browser. Having that laughter and energy back sure stirred things up around here. A new puppy sure keeps me on the go.

Zoe will be with you for the rest of your life. She is alive and well within you. Reach inside and let the sun shine in and bask in the beautiful memories you and she made together.

May you find comfort and healing and discover the treasures Zoe left you.

[Deanna]

Your loss of Zoe is so recent and I don't think the missing of one so loved ever passes Deanna. But with time and support from others it can help ease the pain. Coming here to LS to express our pain and loss definately helps and leads us to inspiration of hope to learn to continue living in a happy and healthy way. The people here help me beyond what my words can even express. My heart goes out to you.

There were many things I did to help myself get started taking those first steps toward healing. My first writings of Goliath brought many thoughts from others that were genuine because they also felt the crippling effects that come after having lost their own furloves. You can read for yourself in the Death & Dying section about many who have begun their journey of healing one step at a time down a very long and weary road. Many have found their way to a happier and healthier life that isn't so empty anymore.

I was left completely lost when my Goliath passed away so suddenly. Each time I thought of bringing a new puppy into our home and hearts, I felt guilty for even thinking it. I felt as though I was betraying Goliath. After I realized Goliath left me with far more than grief when the angels took him to Heaven, I knew in my heart he would want me to continue sharing all the love I have in my heart for a new baby sister or baby brother.

On April 26th of this year we were blessed in finding our way to Browser. Though Browser cannot ever replace Goliath, and I wouldn't want him to, he too quickly filled our home and hearts with a new and special kind of love. Each has his own little unique personality. Goliath knew how to bring smiles and laughter and so does Browser. Having that laughter and energy back sure stirred things up around here. A new puppy sure keeps me on the go.

Zoe will be with you for the rest of your life. She is alive and well within you. Reach inside and let the sun shine in and bask in the beautiful memories you and she made together.

May you find comfort and healing and discover the treasures Zoe left you.

Goliath ~
I am lost for words to express the appreciation of your reply to my void of my baby girl Zoe, (as well as the others). I feel comfort already. I have read many comments and replies regarding losses that others are dealing with at the same time I am. I have read the progress ones are making with accepting the loss and the pain easing with time. Yes, you're right, there have been friends and family members suggesting to me to get "another" dog ...but I have the same thoughts that "I could never do that to Zoe". However, Zoe has taught and showed me an enormous amount of unconditional love and happiness that I had never experienced in my life before I got her. She has showed and given me a gift, I feel that I need, I
miss it terribly. She has left some wonderful memories I will hold in my heart forever.
I can't thank you enough for your support.
Deanna