I Am Very Lonely Already Options

[havana]

I would like to thank to all of you that take their time to read my notes but now espacially to "goliath" "LoveThem" "myhrtisbrkn" and also "jillster" for you kind words and understanding my pain and desperation.
As you know we Buster and I are alone here in St Louis from New York but before that we were in Miami Florida where he was born 11 years ago. I lost my other half in the North Twin Tower in 9/11 and Buster was at the time about 4 years old and since that age we have been together every since. I have been trying to picture my self all alone {what will I do then?] and for more that I think I have no aswer to that.
Another thing that really bodersme is when the time comes to say goodbye [will I be able to stay with him while is leaving me?] I don't think I will be able to do so, even if afterwards I feel my self as a coward and that I deserted him but I think I will prefer not to have my last vision of him dying I just want to see him and remember him alive always. Sorry had to stop for a few minutes becouse It really breaks me into pieces to see him trying to get rid of something that he thinks is on top of his nose with his two front pads not realizing it's the tumors inside bodering him, then I hugged and told him that I wish I could take those tumors off of him with my own hands and that if I could I would but I can't and told him that I am so so very sorry and he looked at me like it was understanding what I was saying to him, am crying now, bye for now and don't forget about me please, I need you.

[havana]

Good mornig to you all, how are you today? Woke up super early today for no reason [on my day off, lol]
I feel a bit down today, I don't know maybe am afraid of loosing my best friend soon, don't want to sound pessimist but am a bit sad today to look at my son Buster and see he had contracted this horrible disease and the sadder thing is that he dosen't deserve it 'cause he is a good friend a best friend and companion for many years, take care all you and God Bless, Jorge and Buster .
"PLEASE REMEMERME ME".
WHEN ALL OUR TEARS HAVE REACHED THE SEA, PART OF YOU WILL LIVE IN ME, WAY DOWN DEEP INSIDE MY HEART.
THE DAYS KEEP COMING WITHOUT FAIL, NEW WIND IS GONNA FIND YOUR SAIL, THAT'S WHERE YOUR JORNEY STARTS.
YOU'LL FIND OUR LOVE STRONG AS IT EVER WAS, DEEP AS A RIVER RUNS, WARM AS THE MORNING SUN, PLEASE REMEMBER ME.
JUST LIKE THE WAVES DOWN BY THE SHORE, WE'RE GONNA KEEP ON COMIN' BACK FOR MORE, 'CAUSE WE DON'T EVER WANT TO START, OUT IN THIS BRAVE NEW WORLD YOU SEEK.
OH, THE VALLEYS AND THE PEAKS AND I CAN SEE YOU ON THE TOP, REMEMBER ME WHEN YOU ARE OUT WALKIN', WHEN SNOW FALLS HIGH OUT SIDE MY DOOR, LATE AT NIGHT WHEN YOU'RE NOT SLEEPIN'
AND MOONLIGHT FALLS ACROSS MY FLOOR, WHEN I CAN'T HURT ANYMORE, YOU'LL WILL FIND OUR LOVE STRONG AS IT EVER WAS, DEEP AS A RIVER RUNS, WARM AS THE MORNING SUN, PLEASE REMEMBER ME.
PLEASE REMEMBER ME, .