I Loved My Sissy Cat Options

[sissycat]

I am so glad I found this site. I have cried and cried over the loss of my best friend---Sissy Cat.
I had her for 2 years and 5 days. Her mother was a stray and she had a litter of 3 kittens all girls. Well I had to keep all 4 of them. All were fixed. So have had her family a while. But this one became my really good friend. How long does it take for the pain to go away. Right now it doesn't seem like it ever will. It has only been a few days. (June 5, 2008)
It doesn't help that I partially blame myself for her death. I usually let all the cats outside for a bit at 6 a.m. and let them back in before going to work. This perticular morning my husband herd a cat meowing and thought I had left one outside. I got up to look and it was a stray at my window. It was 4 a.m. and of course they thought it was time to go outside. I let them out early and they were outside for a longer time. I went out to find my precious Sissy had been hit by a car. She had made it back to my driveway and one of the other cats was setting by her side. I was devastated. All kinds of what ifs and whys and could haves and should haves still run through my head.
I miss her terribly!!!!!! She had slept in my bed everynight for almost two years. She would meow at the food bowl even if there was food in it. All she wanted was a few fresh peices droped on top and she would eat. She would only drink out of a cup on the bathroom sink. She would lick my hand when we went to bed at night to let me know she cared. She would be in my lap when it stormed because she was scared.
Maybe I get too attached to my pets. Sissy especially. I loved her so Much!!!!!! I have made pictures of her to put on my computer desk and home and at my work.
I catch myself talking to her at her grave side and sometimes when I look at her pictures. Am I crazy? Does anyone else do these things. I even went and brushed up her fur off the end of my bed and put it in a baggy. I planted purple mums on her grave today and placed a little cross with her name on it there.
I still have 4 cats, but we are not close like me and Sissy were. I am heart broken how do I heal. Will my crying ever stop? I just don't know how i will ever be right again. I can't eat very much cause my stomache stays in knots and I am not sleeping very well. Thank You for listening to my story of Sissy Cat..
SISSY I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LoveThem]

It is a good thing for you to post happy stories about your baby. That is how we heal to the point the pain is not overwhelming anymore.
So keep telling stories here of anything you remember that makes you smile and then reread your stories when you come here so you can smile some more.

I am so very sorry for your loss but I am glad you still have your other babies. Little Guy was my last of 3 siblings and an empty home was too much to bear so I adopted a shelter cat from my SPCA in December. He is the distraction I needed to start living more normally each day.

The pain and sadness and missing them will always be a part of us. It is how we handle that ...that leads to healing. It has helped me to know that I feel I cannot change what happened to my special ones..when it is their time to leave...no one can stop that. But I remember one mom here saying: The pain of losing her will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing her. I totally agree and that is why I understand how important it is to healing...to make the effort to push out the sad thoughts and replace them each time with a good memory until over time, it is not an effort anymore...it becomes more automatic and easier to do.

Your loss is too recent not to feel as you do..this is when the pain is at its worst because everything is so fresh. Your other girls can help you if you let them...hold them and hug them and talk about Sissy with them. They love you so very much and know there has been a big change in the home but do not understand what has happened. They are waiting there with their unconditional love for you.

I know what you mean about Sissy being special...of my 3 I lost...Little Guy was my last and he was special to me...I think because as a kitten he got pneumonia and almost died and the vet and antibiotics and I watched over him and he lived the longest but I think feeling that I was part of saving him as a baby...made him more special to me because I nearly lost him at about 6 or 8 weeks old.
He had a twin brother, Keeper, who I lost at age 10...which was very devastating also. I am so thankful one of my 2 twins stayed with me 6 more years.

So, yes, the special ones do hurt terribly. I don't know if I could say they hurt more because I still remember the terrible pain and agony I went through losing his brother in 2002.

It is true you are not alone here being in pain. It is a pain that is never forgotten completely and continues to be shared by all here.
That is why so many understand exactly what you are going through...your thoughts and feelings...they are all so very familiar to the rest of us. We try to share what we find helps us heal and try to take away some of your pain by doing that.

It does all take time but you know you are not alone in grieving. Your stories and happy memories of Sissy remind us again of the good memories that can't be taken away from us ever. So while sharing will help you heal...your sharing keeps helping us heal too.

Hugs to you and Sissy's sisters