Advice On A New Friend, (this is a very long intro. post!) Options

[matildawong]

Hello, everyone.

Please forgive my barging in with this question. I have been lurking and now I find myself in a dilemma that I feel I may get some clarity out of by posting it here. (If that makes sense!?)

I am new here and have found great support and comfort (and shed many a tear) reading everyone's posts. Last week I lost my Mittens. She was 19 -- I adopted her when she was 10. She needed to be an only-cat household. I adored her. She went with me across the country and back; in planes and in cars. She suffered from CRF and almost 2 weeks ago she took a turn for the worse and I knew I had to help let her go. My vet was so wonderful. In fact, I didn't know how wonderful of a person/vet she was until that sad day. She helped me to stay in the room and be with Mitty (I was scared to see her go but knew I had to be there for Mittens.)

Fast forward and I am ready for a new friend/partner. I do know this. Not to replace M. but because my (former non-pet owner) fiance and I agree a cat-free household is much to lonesome!

My dilemma. At the 'no kill' shelter there are two girls. I love them both and I can only pick one. Micia is 11. She is a Maine Coon, crotchety, fabulous and has been at the shelter the longest. The (tougher) animal control officers tell me her time is running out. The (sweeter) volunteers with the non-profit say no, someone will adopt her. The animal control people tell me the Chief is the real boss and he knows Micia is really hard to place. She could get sent to the city shelter soon. I really like her. Though she can swat and hiss (I brushed her today and she was pretty nice.)

Melody is 6. She's sweet but very scared. Her owner died and her cat-roommate had more personality and was adopted. My heart melts a bit more for Melody because she's not as tough and sassy as Micia. She looks forlorn and it seems like she'd thrive with us. She probably has more time at the shelter than Micia because she isn't as attitude-ridden as Micia. But I fear no one will look past her shyness and see her cute personality.

They both would do well with us. We have an apartment and I'm only supposed to have one cat. Micia would do her own thing and I mean, sheesh, my fiance is crotchety, too. So there you go! Melody would hopefully thrive on affection and love from us.

My problem: I have this terrifying sense of condemning one or the other. The animal control lady looked teary-eyed when I suggested taking Melody. I think she thinks I am Micia's last chance. The animal control police-guy (so nice, has like 9 pets of his own from the shelter!) said I would be helping them no matter which one I choose.

I do know this: I want to take one of these two girls. I FEEL it, it's right for me. I will be ok once I decide, but the decision itself is really upsetting me. I try to think what Mittens would want, but come up empty. And doesn't that sound weird? But I think you know what I mean. My vet's office (works closely w/shelter, knows both cats) gently suggested Melody because they are aware that Mittens' treatment/decline/visits/meds/etc. really put a clinch on our wallets. (Not that we care!!! Not one bit!!! Just that maybe we should get a younger cat and build up our emergency fund again.)

Finally, thank you to anyone who has read through this emotional, long-winded post. I think I may have some relief just from writing it out. Goodness knows it's been bouncing around in my head so much. I do wonder if I'm channeling some of my grief into this situation but you know, I don't really think so. I tend to be emotional like this anyway.

Phew. Thanks again for letting me post this. Truly.

ETA: I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how to handle this decision. Thank you.

[LoveThem]

I signed on this am just to see if you posted cause I am as excited as you about your new baby. As far as how I was on Christmas...I was okay because when I left Christmas eve...the SCPA was closing for the day and was closed on Christmas Day so I knew Lucky wasn't going anywhere and that's why I was there the time they opened the day after. I just felt I knew he would be there for sure if I got there when they opened...and on Christmas Day....I just kept thinking..this is the last Holiday this home would be cat-less. I guess I wanted to sleep on the decision but only cause I knew he wasn't going anywhere immediately.

I knew you could do it. Sometimes I think writing out what we are feeling and thinking helps us to look at it better, and also sometimes others looking at the same thing may point out something we hadn't thought of. I am so glad you decided to post here and ask your questions...even if the right answer didn't come....at least you kept looking..and I am also glad hearing what happened.

Now the important thing is hearing about Melody.....I will look for your post....when you two are settled.

You are so right in your thinking about Mittens. My Little Guy hadn't been himself for about 8 weeks even though we were at the vet, getting x-rays, getting blood tests..etc...and I knew if he continued to lose weight because for some reason he didn't really want to eat, that he would get very very sick and so I was discussing giving him peace with my vet and she had just said she wanted to try a cancer medicine for a couple of weeks..although no one knew if it was cancer or not...when as my thread in the Death & Dying section listed below in my reply here...describes the emergency that resulted in my making the instant decision to lose him rather than put him through a lot of pain draining fluid...so I could keep him with me longer. So yes, when it is time you know you have to do it FOR THEIR SAKE..that's the most important part of it. And so we thank them for their many years of unconditional love and companionship by making sure they do not suffer when we know they are having a bad time and there is no cure. It is sad but we never would trade the many years of healthy and happiness and love they gave us and we gave them. They are in our hearts forever and their pictures remind us of the good memories which help us to move on.

And, a new baby is such good medicine....it means so much to me to have a furbaby in my home again. I know you and Melody will form your own special bond between the two of you that is unique and I know it makes you feel good inside to know you will be taking care of one of these special ones that has no one to give their love to. She will indeed complete your home.

Hugs to you and her