Need Some Support, Please, No one around me understands Options

[anln]

Hi everyone.
Today I've really been having a hard time...missing my boy, Jordan, crying, and really feeling the loss. I came home and was just really sad. When I spoke to my husband and told him about how sad I was feeling today he hugged me for a minute and asked what we were having for dinner. Don't get me wrong, my husband is wonderful and extremely loving, but I needed more than that. When I told him about that, he said, "What do you want me to say?" I told him that I needed to know that he still misses him a lot, too. He said, "Sure I miss him but its been a long time." I nearly jumped out of my skin... Then I looked at the calendar and realized that it has been four months to the day that he died. Today it was so raw again...I felt like I was actually realizing that I wouldn't be able to run my hands over his beautiful head or kiss in between his brown eyes, or rub his silky ears. That is all I want to do. So, my friends, I am feeling a bit alone tonight. Its a sad anniversary of sorts...four months. It feels like forever. I miss you, Jordan.
Love,
Jordan's mom

[jan]

Hi, everyone! I haven't been around in quite awhile, but I wanted to tell Jordan's mom (and everyone else) that I know exactly how you feel. I'm so sorry for your loss and it feels like the pain will go on forever. We lost our girl, Phoenix, on April 30th and, while the pain has lessened, and I can now think of great memories of her without crying - the scar will always be on my heart.

I needed to talk about Phoenix a lot more than my DH too. That's what lead me to finding this wonderful website. Maybe it's just the way some men deal with grief. I think they want to "fix it" for us and if they can't do that, they don't see any point in talking about it again. Whereas, women (or at least in my case) have the emotional need to talk about our "furbabies" a lot after we lose them.

Hugs to everyone!