Good-bye Duncan Options

[Duncan-MyBuddy]

Duncan i miss your gratefullness when you licked my hand or wanted a hug everytime i gave you food or water
Duncan i miss your wagging tail everytime i called your name
Duncan i miss the sound from your squeak toys
Duncan i miss your bark everytime you wanted something
Duncan i miss your darting up and down the basement stairs
Duncan i miss your smile everytime i said 'lets go for a walk'
Duncan i miss seeing you always trying to steal Jessie's toy
Duncan i miss seeing you chase deers in the woods
Duncan i miss your unconditional love and affection even after i scolded you
Duncan i miss calling you buddy boy
Duncan, Dolly, Jessie and i miss you

Duncan i'm sorely sorry i wasn't there for you at your dyer hour
Duncan i'm sorry i didn't do more for you
Duncan i'm sorry i didn't give you as much affection as you gave me
Duncan i'm sorry, rest in peace buddy and i pray to see you again in heaven

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I buried my best friend Duncan last Friday, undoubtedly the hardest thing i've done in my life to date..even harder than burying my parents and two brothers. Though misty eyed, it wasn't until i picked up the shovel to start the burial that the tears flowed freely. At that point the realization hit me that i'll never see my best friend again.
I still see and hear him out of the corner of my eye but when i look he's not there. Maybe its his spirit trying to reassure me somehow. Maybe he's trying to ease my grieving somehow. I'm sure he would not want me in this pain i'm feeling.

About 6 months ago Duncan developed an eye problem which led to blindness in one of his eyes. The eye specialist back then was not a 100% positive but they thought it was a tumor near his iris. They recommended removing the eye and check for malignancy. I refused as i didn't want to put a 10 year old dog through that painful process. I fear i might have made the wrong decision which is laying heavy on me at this point. He had two seizures over the last couple weeks that lasted a few hours and he was good as new the next day. He had his final seizure last Thursday of which i found him passed the next morning. Words cannot express how i felt when i found him laying there lifeless.
At least my other two dogs Dolly and Jessie were with him at his final hour.

This is a great site. Since i live alone with my dogs out in the country there's not much opportunity to express all this. The mere act of typing this post has already done a lot to ease the grieving.

So far Dolly and Jessie seem to be holding up well but they seem to be easing into a lathargic state little by little. I was especially worried about Jessie as she and Duncan were inseparable. By the way Jessie was Duncan's common law wife! Dolly is also starting to worry me as she seems to be eating less in addition to being less active. Duncan and Dolly have been togather for 10 years and when Duncan had to spend a couple days at the hospital for heartworm treatment a few years ago, Dolly outright refused to eat until i brought Duncan back home from the hospital.

Is there anything i can do for my remaining two dogs to ease their grieving process?


-Ken

[Duncan-MyBuddy]

goliath wrote:
Many years ago Goliath chewed the left hand corner off of it when he was just a puppy. Though I wasn't particularly happy about it at that time.......................I busted out in a grin from ear to ear. I am so glad he did that! This wooden chest is just one of Goliath's mementos he left behind for me to smile about. Every so often I come across something else of Goliath's or hear something someone says that triggers a happy memory. I call these events "the little hellos" from him. They remind me that his love is in me and with me at all times.

Interesting you mentioned that story! While going upstairs from the basement just today, i noticed where years ago when Duncan was just a youngin would scratch the basement plaster board wall with his paws when he knew it was time to go outside to fertilize the bushes. I've been meaning to repair those old deep scrathes of Duncan's for a couple years now but they're going to stay.
Thanks for the opportunity to share some of these memories...it helps.

myhrtisbrkn,
I'm glad i found this forum also. As i mentioned earlier, in my particular case there's very little opportunity to share the grief i'm feeling especially with people who are/have been going through it also.

LoveThem wrote:
As far as earlier when you spoke about the pain being different than losing a human and wondered why that is so. My own explanation for that is simply that these wonderful babies are the only beings in life that give us unconditional love. They accept us 100% for who we are at all times. To them, we have no faults. They never judge us. They are simply so very happy just to be near us.

I agree whole heartedly. But unfortunately, IMO some pet owners are just not worthy of owning a pet.
For example, i adopted Jessie my black lab a couple years ago. Its a long long story but she showed up on my property one day as a stray and took a real romantic liking to Duncan. Now Jessie was the spittin image of my neighbors dog who was out of town for a two week vacation. I figured it was their dog and would feed Jessie til the neighbors returned. Eventually i found out Jessie was not the neighbors dog.

Since Jessie was in a heet cycle, i couldn't control 'ol Duncan as he had only one thing on his mind. So now what! I called the county animal control to pick Jessie up. Now during those two weeks i fed Jessie, i kind of got attached to her and likewise with her. She was always at my side or followed me closely.
I decided to stop by the animal control to see if she got adopted yet. To my horror, they were going to put her to sleep the next day along with about another half dozen strays as they typically keep strays for about two weeks. I also found out that she was about a year old and pregnant! Well i decided to adopt her!

Now the point of all this is that since Jessie had a collar and tags, her owner was traced down by animal control. The owner wanted no part of Jessie and in fact he wanted her collar back! Apparently Jessie wouldn't come back when he called her was the reason given.
Now one thing i noticed right off about Jessie is that she was apparently beat, often and probably severely. Everytime i would raise my arm to fix the brim of my cap for example, she would cower and squeal loudly. All i needed to do was to raise my arm above my waist to get that reaction. It took a good couple months for her to realize that she wasn't going to be beaten ever again. Like most labs especially young ones she was frisky, sometimes too frisky. But she has turned out to be the most sweetest, mild tempered affectionate dog i could ever hope for. She doesn't have a mean bone in her body. And she comes when i call her. She and Duncan were inseparable and would play togather for hours at a time. I know she misses Duncan also.
-Ken