Good-bye Duncan Options

[Duncan-MyBuddy]

Duncan i miss your gratefullness when you licked my hand or wanted a hug everytime i gave you food or water
Duncan i miss your wagging tail everytime i called your name
Duncan i miss the sound from your squeak toys
Duncan i miss your bark everytime you wanted something
Duncan i miss your darting up and down the basement stairs
Duncan i miss your smile everytime i said 'lets go for a walk'
Duncan i miss seeing you always trying to steal Jessie's toy
Duncan i miss seeing you chase deers in the woods
Duncan i miss your unconditional love and affection even after i scolded you
Duncan i miss calling you buddy boy
Duncan, Dolly, Jessie and i miss you

Duncan i'm sorely sorry i wasn't there for you at your dyer hour
Duncan i'm sorry i didn't do more for you
Duncan i'm sorry i didn't give you as much affection as you gave me
Duncan i'm sorry, rest in peace buddy and i pray to see you again in heaven

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I buried my best friend Duncan last Friday, undoubtedly the hardest thing i've done in my life to date..even harder than burying my parents and two brothers. Though misty eyed, it wasn't until i picked up the shovel to start the burial that the tears flowed freely. At that point the realization hit me that i'll never see my best friend again.
I still see and hear him out of the corner of my eye but when i look he's not there. Maybe its his spirit trying to reassure me somehow. Maybe he's trying to ease my grieving somehow. I'm sure he would not want me in this pain i'm feeling.

About 6 months ago Duncan developed an eye problem which led to blindness in one of his eyes. The eye specialist back then was not a 100% positive but they thought it was a tumor near his iris. They recommended removing the eye and check for malignancy. I refused as i didn't want to put a 10 year old dog through that painful process. I fear i might have made the wrong decision which is laying heavy on me at this point. He had two seizures over the last couple weeks that lasted a few hours and he was good as new the next day. He had his final seizure last Thursday of which i found him passed the next morning. Words cannot express how i felt when i found him laying there lifeless.
At least my other two dogs Dolly and Jessie were with him at his final hour.

This is a great site. Since i live alone with my dogs out in the country there's not much opportunity to express all this. The mere act of typing this post has already done a lot to ease the grieving.

So far Dolly and Jessie seem to be holding up well but they seem to be easing into a lathargic state little by little. I was especially worried about Jessie as she and Duncan were inseparable. By the way Jessie was Duncan's common law wife! Dolly is also starting to worry me as she seems to be eating less in addition to being less active. Duncan and Dolly have been togather for 10 years and when Duncan had to spend a couple days at the hospital for heartworm treatment a few years ago, Dolly outright refused to eat until i brought Duncan back home from the hospital.

Is there anything i can do for my remaining two dogs to ease their grieving process?


-Ken

[Duncan-MyBuddy]

Jon, i thank you also for posting those scripture quotes. They have helped me and hopefully others here.

goliath wrote:
When you and Duncan were joined by your hearts he became a permanent part of you and will stay with you forever. This is a binding love connection that cannot be broken and will be eternal.

Very well said, thankyou!

As far as my grieving of 4 days now, it seems to be subsiding a bit. I run my dogs everyday in my woods where i also buried Duncan. I felt he would want to be laid to rest there as that was his favorite place to be.
This morning while out with Dolly and Jessie for their daily romp in the woods, for the first time hardly a tear was shed when i visited Duncan's grave.
Instead our best and sometimes humorous memories flashed before my eyes. Like the time Duncan ran up the back porch stairs, couldn't stop in time and ran right through the bottom panel of the screen door. He ended up in the kitchen with a real puzzled look on his face. Instead of getting mad at door i now had to fix, all i could do was laugh! And i laughed on and off that whole day even while i was repairing the door! Thankyou Duncan!
Perhaps this is the first step in the healing process. When dwelling on the loss starts to give way to the memories and how our pets have enriched our own lives.

There is no doubt in my mind being able to discuss this here with you all has played a large part in coping with Duncan's passing.
Thank you all again, and thanks for this forum.
-Ken