My Kitten Died, And I Can't Cope Options

[Lynsey]

Three weeks ago my beautiful seven month old kitten Purdy died. She had spend weeks in intensive care, as her immune system was attacking her bone marrow. She became severely anaemic, and although it seemed that she was getting better, she passed away during the night.

My heart is broken. I live alone, and have suffered from depression for years. Purdy made such a huge difference to my life. She was the only thing that had made me feel truly happy in years. Purdy was the sweetest cat that I could ever have wished for. She followed me everywhere and I adored her. I can't believe that I am never going to see her again, it has all been such a shock. I thought we had years together.

I might find this easier to accept if she was an old cat that had lived her life, but she was just a baby. I am also devastated that I didn't get to say goodbye properly and wasn't there when she died. Every time I think of her struggling for breath at the end my heart breaks all over again. I never, ever wanted her to suffer.

The day before she died I went into hospital to see her as usual, but she was very grumpy and distressed and wouldn't let me touch her. I get upset every time I think about it because I didn't get to hold her one last time.

I haven't been at work since she went into hospital nearly two months ago. I just can't stop crying and nobody seems to understand what I have lost. I have been so lonely without her. I went back to the charity that I got her from and I am adopting two kittens from them a week on friday. I feel so guilty about that too. They'll never replace her.

I keep finding her fur everywhere which sets me off crying, and can't bear to hoover up. Its as if I would be removing any evidence that she was ever here.

Its four weeks now since she passed away, and the pain isn't getting easier. I can't accept her death and just wan't her back so much that it physically hurts.

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[goliath]

Lynsey, I am so sorry to hear about your sweet little Purdy. You picked a beautiful name for her. The coloring in her coat is quite gorgeous and her eyes are mesmerizing. I can see why you picked the name Purdy for her.

The grief that accompanies the death of a loved furbaby is dreadful. I fell into a deep depression after Goliath passed away and never thought I would ever know happiness again. Since you said you had been suffering for depression for years, it must be even more difficult for you.

You came to the right place when you found this site. There are many understanding and wonderful people here who will help you learn to cope and accept your loss of Purdy. Had it not been for this site and the people here I would never have found my way back to a content and fulfilling life. Because they helped me so much, I will forever be grateful that they were here with their love, understanding, and compassion.

It is here that we help each other through our exchanges of dialogue in our replies to each other. You never have to be alone because someone is always here, or will be here in a short amount of time.

No matter how many other kittens you bring into your home, none can ever take Purdy's place. Each new love that makes a home with us is unique and brings another kind of happiness and companionship. I think it's wonderful that you are bringing two new additions into your family. You have opened your heart to two kitttyloves that need a good home. All 3 of you will soon realize what a great decision you have made in doing this.

My thoughts and prayers are with you Lynsey at this painful time of your life. May you find the comfort you are seeking. This is a place of healing so I hope you continue to come back. Miracles made out of love happen here.