Calvin, About my kitty. Options

[TinaKay]

My kitty Calvin passed away at 1:31 this morning from Liver Disease. It came upon him so quickly I can't believe he was sick and now I can't believe he's gone. He was just diagnoised Tuesday. He was having trouble walking and breathing last night so I knew his time was near to leave me.
I put him to bed with me and held him in my arms. He passed away and I haven't stopped crying yet. I miss him so much and every little thing makes me think of him. I had him for 4 years. He belong to a friend who moved away and couldn't take him with her. I adopted him and fell in love. He was my baby boy and I feel like I lost my child. He was only 10 years old. I thought he'd live for at least another 5 to 8 years. I know that's stupid as cats get sick at different times and die but I never thought my Calvin would leave me like this.
I also have two other cats, Jessie (who I've had since she was a kitten and she's 12) and Mr. Boots who really belongs to my Mother who lives with me but I love him too. He will be 3 months old the 1st of September. I've been loving on them extra today.
Calvin is the first pet that I have had to die. It's so hard. I feel lost without him and I feel guilty, like it's my fault, even though I know it's not.
Will I ever feel better?

Tina Kay

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[ComeBackScott]

Thank you for sharing your baby with us, he is such a priceless angel, I can see by that picture how much you love him. There will always be guilt, there will always be tears, there will always be what ifs, it's all part of grieving. It takes time, but someday it will be easier. I still cry everytime I see pics of my beautiful Scott, MY baby. It's only been 11 months. I remember thinking after he was gone that he was hurting somewhere and there was no way I could save him. It near drove me mad. I felt so helpless, because my baby was gone, he's always been there, I thought he'd always be there.
I stayed with him while he was put to sleep and had visions of it, to this day, reliving it over and over. I got so anxious at times that I thought being with him was a mistake for my own sake. But I wouldn't have had it any other way because my baby died with the one who loved him most, he did not die alone, and for that I am thankful. Our babies are now free from hurt and disease. Keep that comfort.


I LOVE YOU SCOTT

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