My Niles The Cat, Sudden loss Options

[NILESMOM]

I lost my baby Niles on Thursday the 29th of Nov. He was 8 years old and so, so alive and healthy. Truly he was the most vibrant, good natured little guy. I took him into the vet because he had a little diarrhea. I didn't think it was a huge problem. They felt a mass, went in for exploratory surgery and my baby was eaten up with cancer. He was put to sleep on the table. O God I'm so shocked and I hurt so bad. How do you take your baby to the doctor for what you think is a minor problem and have him come out dead? How is this happening? I keep thinking this is a nightmare and that I will wake up. But it keeps going and going.

Niles was/is a beautiful spirit. My husband and I say he not only had a personality, but "Nilesanility"--a combination of pure love, a manic desire to express that love, and a healthy dose of mischief. I never had a day, even in the darkest of times, where my little guy did not make me smile with his antics and his ways. He is my heart, my joy and I do not know how to live with out him. There is a hole in my heart. He would snuggle beside me and would look into his eyes and we had such a soul connection.

Does this agony ever end? How do you live without your heart?

[toonie]

dear Nile's mom, my sympathies to you and your husband, you did a great job of making Niles' personality come through to us, I see what a beautiful magical cat he was and I know how deep your grief is:

How do you live without your heart?

It is true that we are handicapped after they leave us, something of us is missing, and I think it may well be forever, I still feel this missing my soulmate and I lost my cat and his brother over a year ago. I was a long time unable to feel any comfort about having any other cat. But right now I have 'sheltered' a skinny barn cat who was constantly rejected by his fellow barn cats and he is on my lap as I write to you. It is no subst*itute but it does sort of transplant an artificial heart so that you get back to feeling the emotions, even if your real heart tucked away with your soulmate, it is a sort of patch , one that will perhaps come to seek you in time I know I was only ready to do this now over 13 months after losing my babies. Courage my dear hearts, it will be hard and rough, but in time it will get better, meantime look and listen for Niles, he is singing in the corners of where you heart was, the more you listen the more his song will come to you and you will see that strangely enough his song will make you strong.