Just Lost My Cat..., My 19 year old cat was hit by a car Options

[cfholden]

Our much cherished 19 year old Chris Craft the cat didn't come home last Saturday night, or Sunday morning. My husband went looking for him and found him, apparently having been hit by a car, and left in a dumpster. My husband came home screaming, and in shock. He won't describe to me exactly what he saw. But says it was bad. We both can't stop the crying and I've never felt such pain. I've watched both my parents die before my eyes, but this feels worse. I had time to prepare for my parents (years actually) .and although I cried for them, this pain is different. More intense, and the emptiness in our home without our cat is unbelievable. I don't want to go home. I feel such pain for my husband who had to find him. I keep reliving the moment he came home screaming and crying, and then I break into tears.
I will miss my little guy so much. Sunday was the worst day of my life.

[cfholden]

Thank you Susan for your kind words. Thank you everyone! I've been reading some other posts and I must say it's weirdly comforting to know I am not alone in hurting.
We'll never know who exactly put Chris Craft in a dumpster. He must have crossed under a fence to a street that runs perpendicular to ours, and there are no houses on it. Just little businesses that were closed on a late Sat night or Sunday morning. So I only hope that it was a humane act of removing him from the street and not being able to go to a house and ask if they knew the cat. I guess I want to think the best. But it was still a horrible way to find our pet.
And I do realize that if my husband never found him, we'd still be wondering where he was.......that would be worse.
I don't feel guilty about Chris Craft being an outside cat. He started out inside and got out one day, 18 years ago, and sat in the grass and literally smiled into the sun. He loved outside. And he slept in the same little area every day. And you could see him smiling. He was loved by the neighbors. Even other pets loved him. Do you know what I mean? I could tell when even dogs liked Chris Craft.
I am still in the early "stages" of grief, and the depression part is heavy. I'd give anything to have him back, but I know that's impossible.

Chris Craft's mom