Sockers Has Vanished Options

[Sockers]

Hi everyone,

I found this sight in my search for information and encouragement in trying to find my beloved cat Socks (or Sockers) who has been missing since 10/21.

She is now about four years old, and I found her and her sister at four weeks old under our shed in the backyard. They came into my life at a time when I really needed them, after my dog of seventeen years went to sleep, and I fell in love from the beginning. Never having been able to have children of my own, my pets have always been my "kids". Their kitty mother nursed them until they were old enough to eat kitty chow, and they lived the first eight or nine months of their lives outside. Both of them have always been extremely timid, but self reliant, and won't voluntarily get near any other humans other than me and occasionally my husband. At this time we lived in a subdivision in town, and they were always close by when I'd come home from work. They had plenty of places to hide from things that spooked them, under the shed or under our or the neighbors decks. When the weather turned colder, they came inside and got used to being indoor/outdoor cats, and during the winter rarely stayed out more than an hour or so at a time.

We moved about eight months ago in the spring to a new town, and after about three weeks I let them venture outside a bit. We now live in a semi-rural area in that our house backs up to a small horse farm and then a wooded area, although we are still in a subdivision. Right now there are just a few houses here, and we are off by ourselves as no one has built around us yet.

When Socks and Sassy first started going out, being as timid as they are, as soon as they heard or saw anything unfamiliar they would shoot into our garage and go through the cat door back into the house. We don't have a deck or any shrubbery here yet for them to take cover, so I would leave the garage door cracked for them. We got into a routine where, they would be inside all night, then I'd let them out in the morning before work, (it is still dark when I get up) and when I got ready to leave, Sassy and sometimes Sockers would be waiting by the back door ready to come in for the day. At times I'd have to go get Socks from the field across the street where at dawn she liked to hunt for mice. I eventually had to close the garage door because she started bringing the mice through the cat door and depositing them on the living room floor for me! I would let them back out at dusk in the summer, and they would always be around to come back in for the night when it was bedtime.

So that's how it went for about 7 months. Within the last month, Sockers has wanted to stay out later and later at night, so when I went to bed she wasn't always around. However, she was always there in the early morning, more than ready to come in and eat. Until last Sunday. I tried to get her to come in that night but she kept moving away from me (which she had done before) so I thought, I'd just get up early and let her in. Well, Monday morning came and it was like she had vanished into thin air. At first I wasn't too worried and checked the field across the street but she wasn't there. I started to get upset when daylight came and she still didn't show up. She ALWAYS came in before daylight because she wasn't comfortable being out when it was too light. Add to this, that afternoon it started to rain, and rain, and rain. It rained for almost three days straight and we got almost 6 inches during that time. I was pretty much inconsolable thinking about her out in that weather.

Since then I have been a mental and physical wreck. The anguish of not knowing where she is, is tearing me apart. I feel like if she could come home she would, because in her four years she has never wandered off for more than a few hours at a time. My husband and I are the only people who she will come around. She LOVES to take a cat nap on my lap when I get home from work. When we have company, (even my family who they've seen hundreds of times) they always hide until everyone has left before they venture out of the back bedroom. I know she wouldn't go up to a stranger.

I think we've done everything we possible can to help her come home. She had a collar on when she vanished (although no tags) but she does have a micro chip in her that I put in both of them when we moved. I've made flourescent posters, put hundreds of flyers anywhere they will let me put them, contacted and visited all the shelters etc., put an add in the paper, left out food and pieces of my clothing and her kitty litter every night, search the woods, get up at 3 and 4 in the morning calling for her - and still no sign of her. I am exhausted and just sad all the time. Her sister misses her terribly too, and I haven't let Sass out since Socks went missing. Some people tell me to just accept that she's gone, and move on but I can't. I feel like she's hurt and needs my help but I just can't get to her. It's a total living nightmare. Is it normal for a cat who has never wandered like this to start suddenly? Is there still a chance she'll come back on her own?

Sorry to ramble on so long but it helps to talk about it. I've read some of the success stories here that have given me hope, but hope is hard to keep when you are disappointed hundreds of times each day that she doesn't come home.

Thanks for listening,
Jacki

[Mink&WillowsMom]

Hi Jacki, so sorry to hear of this limbo you're in. Utterly sucks. For ideas and support, on this thread read "My Cat Has Been Missing Since Memorial Day," "72 Hours Missing," "Going to Hire a K9 Search Team," "Do You Always Feel Like Something is Undone?," "Bennett is Back," and "4 Weeks Today." Full of the group's collective wisdom, tips, ideas, and support. 5catsmom, paris, oceanpets, EaglesMom, and I, and now ChloesMom, have all been through this. Chloe and you are still "pending," but of the other five of us, three pets returned home, and two did not. Of those whose cats didn't come home, we both knew in our hearts after just a few days, that this would be the case.

If your gut tells you she's out there, then by all means call Hilary, enlist Boy Scouts, ask about a K9 search team, keep in contact with the vets and shelters, schools, craigslist, etc. If your gut tells you she's not in her body anymore, then by all means call Hilary, enlist Boy Scouts, ask about a K9 search team, keep in contact with the vets and shelters, schools, craigslist, etc. If she doesn't make it back, you'll need to know that you did everything.

Bennett just came home when he was ready. - about 5 weeks
Shadow was turned in to a shelter. - about 4 weeks
Eagle finally walked into the cage trap set for him. Gosh, after what, 2-1/2 months??

Hang in there. Be sure to do the good basic self-care: lots of water, stress vitamins (the B's), and some lighter fresh foods in between the M&Ms and corn chips (well, that's my stress diet, anyway).

As for those who say move on, try to keep in mind they're only distressed to see you so in pain, and they want to be able to offer a solution to help you fix it. Even though it leaves you feeling a million miles apart from them at that moment, if you remember that they're just feeling concerned and helpless, it might help you feel their underlying sympathy and connect there. "Thank you, I appreciate your concern. I've lost a child, it's not time to move away from it yet. Hope shines in me, and I can't ignore that."

Big, soft, warm hug to you. What part of the country do you live in? How far did you move? I would contact your old neighbors, in case she's decided to go check out her old place. It's rare, but cats have travelled hundreds of miles to do this. ~Kimberly