Just Missing My Boy Still Options

[ChrissyW]

I want to say thank you to everyone at this site. I have stayed away for awhile due to the fact that it hurts when I come here because it makes my loss real. I don't want it to be real anymore. I feel for anyone who does come here . . . it is hard. Lately, I really don't want to feel this pain. He was a big part of my life and lately I have been going backwards thinking maybe I did hurt him and thats why he had to go. Recently my daughter has been telling me that she really misses him. I don't blame her. I miss him incredably. Our new dog, she has only been with us since March or April, does so many things my old man did. It helps but I also look at my other dog who spent all her life with him and sometimes I can see lonliness. I am to the point I want another dog. It doesn't matter how big or how little I want the void to be gone. Of course, My husband, the level head right now, says no due to the fact it is too much. I guess with a house full of animals (2 cats, 2 dogs, 2 hampsters and 20-30 fish) another dog is too much. When I first got my Indy he was 2 months old and when we met I held him and he just went to sleep. Well I got the okay from mom and took him home. I took him to my dad's house and on the way he threw up his breakfast. I was then christened mom. He whinned at night but would never sleep in my bed with me. He went everywhere I went, well except on an airplane! When will it stop feeling like yesterday he was taken from me? He is in my thoughts everyday. Sometimes, I just stare at his pictures. His leash and collar are still on my dressor and every once in a while I smell them for him. It reminds me he needed a bath. I just miss him. What do I say to my daughter? It hurts but I answer her honestly . . . I miss him too. And I think to myself, you'll never know how much I miss him. Indy, my BooBoo Bear, I miss you . . . I know you are whole now and waiting for us. But there will always be a hole in my heart that will never completely heal. I love you with all my heart and miss you terribly. Do me one favor, Indy, just enjoy being whole again and young again and just promise me that you will be there when it is my time because I will need you once again as I did and do in this physical life.
Mommy misses you, greatly.
Be happy my boy, Thinking of you and missing you.
Mom (ChrissyW)

[ChrissyW]

To everyone . . . Thank You. Gingerspal . . . I know you are right. I didn't realize how much I would miss our relationship. I want him to be with me physically. But it is funny that our newest dog has taken up some of his old habits. In some ways it makes me feel as if Indy talked to her and told that I would need that. She really is a good dog that has gotten the short end of the stick in her life. But now she does have a normal life with us. I hope we can make up for it. But my Indy was and is still is as important to me as my husband and kids. Hopefully, it will not be as tearjerking as it is. I miss him horribly. I know in time it will go away or not be so intense. I seem to be like everyone else . . . I have good days and bad days. It doesn't help me that my boss has lost two of his three dogs within a week of each other. It has made my grief real again. It is also hard to explain to my daughter. She knows the truth but it brings it up again. I will never forget but I do cherish the responses I have gotten here. It makes me think past my grief and think of all the good things. Then I think of my boy and one image comes up to me which is a picture of him at the beach, full of sand and completely wet. Boy he loved to run and play with every dog that was within his reach. Then we go home and he would just have the biggest, longest tongue and fall asleep. How nice it would be to be a dog or cat or other animal. Your food is brought to you, most of the time you have a loving family or person, they clean up after you and all you do is sleep and jump around when you get home. Of course it is good for us humans because after a hard days work we love to see them so exited about us just coming home! That is what I miss the most not seeing my boy at the door when I get home!
Thank you everyone for listening and writing, ChrissyW
(Love ya Indy and I will be expecting a happy, excited dog when we meet again!!!!)