Just Missing My Boy Still Options

[ChrissyW]

I want to say thank you to everyone at this site. I have stayed away for awhile due to the fact that it hurts when I come here because it makes my loss real. I don't want it to be real anymore. I feel for anyone who does come here . . . it is hard. Lately, I really don't want to feel this pain. He was a big part of my life and lately I have been going backwards thinking maybe I did hurt him and thats why he had to go. Recently my daughter has been telling me that she really misses him. I don't blame her. I miss him incredably. Our new dog, she has only been with us since March or April, does so many things my old man did. It helps but I also look at my other dog who spent all her life with him and sometimes I can see lonliness. I am to the point I want another dog. It doesn't matter how big or how little I want the void to be gone. Of course, My husband, the level head right now, says no due to the fact it is too much. I guess with a house full of animals (2 cats, 2 dogs, 2 hampsters and 20-30 fish) another dog is too much. When I first got my Indy he was 2 months old and when we met I held him and he just went to sleep. Well I got the okay from mom and took him home. I took him to my dad's house and on the way he threw up his breakfast. I was then christened mom. He whinned at night but would never sleep in my bed with me. He went everywhere I went, well except on an airplane! When will it stop feeling like yesterday he was taken from me? He is in my thoughts everyday. Sometimes, I just stare at his pictures. His leash and collar are still on my dressor and every once in a while I smell them for him. It reminds me he needed a bath. I just miss him. What do I say to my daughter? It hurts but I answer her honestly . . . I miss him too. And I think to myself, you'll never know how much I miss him. Indy, my BooBoo Bear, I miss you . . . I know you are whole now and waiting for us. But there will always be a hole in my heart that will never completely heal. I love you with all my heart and miss you terribly. Do me one favor, Indy, just enjoy being whole again and young again and just promise me that you will be there when it is my time because I will need you once again as I did and do in this physical life.
Mommy misses you, greatly.
Be happy my boy, Thinking of you and missing you.
Mom (ChrissyW)

[sonnet]

I lost my Sonnet June 12th and it seems like so long ago yet it was like she was still here not too long ago. Even last night I "imagined" her lying on the livingroom floor watching me as she always did as I watched TV. It does get better with time and I even got "approved" from a local lab rescue to adopt a new friend. I just need to wait for them to have the "right" one for me. I also still have one of Sonnet's medicine bottles. I got rid of all her meds but had to keep this last one. I look at this memory album I made of Sonnet (pictures, favorite toy, collar included) and it actually makes me smile as I see her wonderful, smiley face looking back at me. I know no one will ever take her place, but rather will occupy a new spot in my heart and I will learn new things and be able to do stuff Sonnet and I couldn't do because of her terrible arthritis the last few years of her life. But I need to remember that she's no longer in pain and that she's whole now.
Sonnet's mom