Life Without Spike Options

[Oakshil]

There are no tears streaming down my face and there hasn't been for a couple of weeks now. Inside it still hurts though. I'm not in any hysterics, I just once and a while find myself staring into nothing and asking myself, what went wrong. How could I have had a pet taken away so quickly and rapidly when it isn't even a case of a pet getting hit by a car. Spike was a young cat. Spike never got sick. His belly was an iron stomach, as the phrase goes.

My gal's aunt was curious on something about fleas, so we looked fleas up and found out alot. It isn't that I didn't read about them after Spike died Weeks ago, its just I really didn't pay much attention to the information. This time, I read it and it soaked in. The more I read, the more sick I felt learning what was going on with Spike before he was taken to the hospital. I'm still in a guilt stage and am a little bit still blaming myself. No, that's not true. I'm blaming myself alot again.
Until this happened, I thought of fleas as pests. You know, they bite you and jump around alot. They are little monsters and if you find out the way I did, you may feel like a monster yourself. I know sometimes I have through the series of weeks that have passed on I have for not taking care of the problem there and then. Fleas do more than make you itchy, give the extended chance. And that extended chance isn't more than two weeks the way I figure it.

During the packing my gal and I am doing, I placed Spikes few but loved toys within my backpack. Ones he used to deliver to the bedroom archeway overnight whileI slept and grab when I was getting ready to leave for somewhere. I have this big dog bowl because my little goof used to knock over his waterdish. It amused him and you could see it in his face when the water started spreading onto the floor. It was funny but it didnt' do him any good when I went to work, so I got him this heavy one meant for large dogs. "Try spilling that." I remember saying when setting it on the floor for the first time. For now the toys will remain in my backpack until I come up with some artsy idea. Those toys will never be seperated, even the last one that he never got to see. (That one I've kept out in the open on my monitor) Still need to find his teddy bear, his absolute favorite. His giant waterbowl I want to get drilled on its bottom so I can grow a healthy plant in it. Plants are living things too after all. At least it could still support life still. That bowl to me is forever Spike's.

I apologize for this new article size message about the samething basicly four weeks later. I feel like I am taking up space for the inevitible newcomer. Its just that I am a mixed bag of emotions right now. This is my outlet still for coping with this and there are other things in life I must deal with. I never knew people could have life so rough until everything coming to a climax right now.

I return here several times a week because, no one's response has gone in vein. Thank you to all who respond or even want to respond but don't always have the time to. All is taken into consideration, it helps and I am more grateful than any of you will ever know.

Peace and harmony, I wish for you all out there.

[kittylove]

Oakshil, I love your idea of putting a plant in Spike's water bowl. I have decided to plant an azalea in my yard and put some of Mama's ashes in with it. Now we can look at these living, thriving plants and know that are babies are part of them.