1 Week, a million tears Options

[KaseysMom]

I can't believe its been a whole week since i kissed that soft little belly.I guess your daddy and i agreed without saying so to not speak of you today, and it was so hard as we only have one another and I the folks here.noone calls noone cares and when i did mention you the other day while out i actully got an eyeroll i wanted to sceam, i dont know what is wrong with people! and i am begining not to care, the people i have been around have not given me any joy that i can remmember as opposed to you my baby that gave me so much joy everyday, i miss playing hide and seek with you and i hate that i can walk down the hall unacostted noone jumpimg out at me. Sydney just stays in bed with whoever is sleeping shes fine but i am sure she misses you too. i cant believe i even miss the litter pan we do not need 2 now and so Sdyney has to do both in the one pan,you girls were so funny using one for pee and the other for foo-stinky, its just insane the things that are gone like being able to answer "the grey one did it" when anything happens not having to shut the bedroom door so daddy can sleep without you two chasing each other over his head, no walking you to the mailbox, and i lit a candle today and was able to leave the room and not worry about the baby getting at it.even trowing away a cig pack has changed i cant bear to wad them up i just toss them away cause i know you wont be fighting me for them.and i cant help but wish i could help daddy more i see him mist up often and i know i can talk to him whenever i want but i see his heart breaking so i am trying to not as much i wil just try and talk here more, he put his every morning milk cup away with a stern warning for me not to throw it out. i really just dont know what were gonna do we boith miss you so much its so hard,the word moving even came up.I just hope you knew how much we wanted to save you, we would have done anything not to lose you anything but let you suffer.i cant see to type anymore i love you baby,im sure i will come here often

[KaseysMom]

My Baby I miss you soo much, we actully had company today, of all the people I talked to and would see Kim i never did, till you left me, she was the only one to reach out to me, told me to write her anytime and was very understanding of my pain, truthfully I do hide it a bit now even to her because everyone thimks by now i should be done<<< Hahahaha they have no idea , only your daddy does but you know I dont like to upset him all the time so mostly I just cry to myself and here to you. anyway it was nice to shw your picture and here how cute you were and I was ok for a while, then I decided to go to the store with her, just to get a walk in. I always wanted all pink for you all the time,,, daddy thought it was silly but I thought a princess should have pink, well I was fine in the store till i saw the sweetest catbed PINK and I just lost it cause I would have gotten that for you. it does not take much for me to cry but I have been good latly in the store.
I sure wish you were here for me to spoil more,Sydney is still being very good a little more stand offish like she always was,,every once in a while I think she gets a snt of you cause she stops and does the mouth nose thing and kinda looks around its very hard when she does cause I wish I had the abilty to pick up your smell..I still have not vac%%ed up you little wisker ,,its right by my chair and its like a secert noone else can see it. I am thinking maybe I will put it in with your picture but later on anyway gonna go and try to stop crying now..I love you