Am I Wrong To Compare?, death of a human to a furry freind Options

[k9pal]

I was just on the post written by meowltd about a remark made to her by a friend. Reading that post was like throwing wood on a already burning fire. Let me start by summarizing a story. A friend of mine lost her husband tragically due to an accident a year ago. I was there for her constantly and continuously through out. Most of the closest people to her work during the day except me. I was her constant companion, her sympathetic shoulder to cry on. I know being alone is know good when you lose someone close. That is when your mind and heart turn on you and you sink deeper end deeper into depression. She was so depressed and she didn't want to be alone, nor did I want her to be so we spent alot of time together. I didn't mind I know I helped her through one of the toughest times in her life. But know I'm resentful. I lost my furbaby and where is she? Where is the support? Ya, she called me once or twice while he was sick. She called me on the worst day of my life. The same day that I had to bring my baby to the vet, his last day. Before I found someone to help me. I told her how I couldn't get into contact with my sister, how she was suppose to help me bring my dog to the vet. I can't get Max to the vet by myself he's to heavy, He won't go outside and I can't carry him by myself I told her. She said she would help but bla..,bla.., bla..! Thank God my sister called me back. My friend called me after Max was gone to say she was sorry and I know that she was sincere but I don't think she sympathizes with me. Like my grief is minimum compared to hers. I'm depressed, I feel empty, I feel like my heart has been ripped out of me, I'm going through the worse grief of my life. Occurances of every day activities remind me of my baby and make me miss him more and more. Why is his death and the emotions I feel any different from lossing a human. Why because he was a animal ? Love is love, and I loved him. He's gone and I'm grieving and nobody is there for me. That's the difference when you lose a human you have so much support, when you lose a furbaby you don't. I know I shouldn't compare the death of her husband with my furbaby. I'm just trying to sort through my feelings. I just wish that she would of been there for me like I was for her. Sorry I'm rambling on I'm having one of those bad weeks and I wouldn't dare confront my friend about how I feel. Because I know that she is still grieving and if she helped me with my grief it would only remind her of her own. So sorry, you guys and gals are stuck with me . So thanks for the shoulder.

[KaseysMom]

When I lost my Kasey I sent out an e-mail with the poem I had written for her. I sent it to some family and to a few friends, had to e-mail as i was i not coherant enough use the phone,I had 1 ONE reply from a distant cousin (we are closer now) and nothing from anyone else, Including my best friend of about 12 years, I did not care, I know most are skindeeps but my best friend? so I wrote her and said I assume you did not get my e-mail because I am so hurt with no reply, she wrote back that very day, I am sorry I know you loved you CAT but you seem upset now so i will call you later when you have calmed down, needless to say I wrote and poured my heart out and said I was sorry if i seemed angry to her i was'nt i was hurt yada yada yada...our friendship will never be the same,out of the few people I do know around here and some family she was the one I thought would listen and hold me up,, nope I have not had a call an e-mail nothing, God forbid anyone would send a note or a hug..
In 1990 I lost the best friend I have ever had to a drunk driver I was out of it for awhile I could not even work and they put me on zanax to help,and lets just say people were trying to help they did let me know they were sorry and tried to comfort me. I loved Greg like I have never loved anyone besides my son, he was way to young 22 and was a good man, and I never thought I would laugh again he was sooo funny!The first time I laughed? was at one of my cats.
I will say this here (as I know I could never say it anywhere else) My Kasey and the love we had was just as important I am as raw over her as I was my best friend I think he might understand but for sure noone else I know would, Love is Love is Love and if not for the love and attention another CAT (my Sunny) had showed me after Greg was killed I dont know if I would be here mourning Kasey.
They are animals to those who can't open themsevles up to the pure love that they give, and I feel for them I really do, I have had such comfort from many animals and hope I have given back some at least, though I know never enough.
I can't even imagine losing a spouse,and don't want to try. But my friendship ended this time because when I needed that friend she was not there, My Husband is wonderfull and was just devastated over Kasey so sometimes I don't want to upset him, a friend would have been so nice.. I will close I am sorry I ramble but theres othing wrong with loving your Baby and to not grieve well I think that would be the starge thing..
Wishing you the best
Carolyn