My Dog Sonnet, difficulty dealing with loosing her Options

[sonnet]

On June 12, 2004 I had my 13 year old lab euthanized. She had terrible elbow dysplasia since age 6 (I adopted her at 4 years old) for which we went to the vet every month for Adequan shots which kept her going this long, but last May her spine became arthritic. The last 2 months of her life she developed elbow infections and a pressure sore on her shoulder. She didn't really want to play (she was a fetch-a-holic) and I knew it was time by looking at her eyes. Her vet helped me with this decision, saying it was best for Sonnet but it doesn't make it easier to deal with being alone. I miss her so much. She was always with me in every room and the place is so empty now. I could use support in going through this tough grieving

[Ruth]

Sonnet's Mom - I'm afraid you're going to be rather envious of me. I'm one of the lucky ones that sleeps like a log when their days are an emotional turmoil. My mother has the same thing - maybe it's genetic! I don't so much sleep as pass out. It's as if my mind can't cope with any more thinking and just shuts down almost immediately. It's a strange thing, but I regularly recall my dreams, but even the dreams are either too painful to remember, or buried to deep to revisit.

I know I am extremely fortunate to be able to do this as it gives me a much needed reprieve from the pain and I do feel better in the morning. I'm sorry that you are having trouble sleeping. It's hard enough trying to cope with all this without being tired on top of it.

You're not crazy at all for seeing Sonnet. I thought I felt Duke jump onto my bed one night. I talk to my little lad, sometimes for ages and I like to say goodnight to him. It's something you did for years, so that's not going to change overnight. Some of the things we did are so instinctive that it hardly took any conscious thought to do them. For instance, every night the last thing I'd do was get three small treats from the cupboard for him. It was to let him know that it really was bedtime and after he'd ate them he'd usually follow me upstairs. Once or twice that instict has returned and I've almost headed towards the kitchen to get his treats.

Take care