Scorning Closure Options

[xrayspex]

Sometimes I read that word here....

"closure"

I HATE THAT WORD!!!

Maybe I just misunderstand it.

Why would anyone want to close anything on the past when it comes to the death of one of our furbabies? Even after embracing the elusive goal of acceptance, why would one finalize the issue by "closing it"? I missed the boat on this one. All the pain that we went through, all the soul searching we did, it challenged our very belief system. Belief is the very core of who we all are. It shapes our thoughts, our decision making. When our furbabies die we begin a journey, (unwillingly kicking and screaming all the while), into ourselves which in some cases can lead to unexpected discovery and awakening to who we really are. Closure to me sounds like "forget" and I must admit I feel angry every time I say it. Do we not learn more about life in this brutal encounter with death? I don't get it. What about the knowledge that was forced upon us when it came to facing our worst fear in life? We were forced to endure a fundamental truth of the universe and that knowledge we had to choke down taught us much about life itself. That knowledge that results in the healing we seek prepares us for our next task....

more furbabies...

This is our lot. This is who we are. How fortunate we are to have helped in the circle of life and to think back of all the furbabies we have loved in our lives. Almost everybody here I have had contact with are "multiple furbaby gaurdians", past and present. To close anything on a single shred of this is a violation of our furbabies past and a total disregard for what we may have gained in the process.

Our journey, our pain, our love and devotion to creatures great and small provides us with insight that those out there with the idea that its "just a pet" don't get.

Its "closure" I don't get

[xrayspex]

I would like to add one last thing about closure. I have experienced a different slant on the issue. The thread below was a gutpunch and it made me realize something else.....

http://lightning-strike.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=4024

.....maybe there is a place for closure.

I do not stray much from this part of the forum. Maybe I should do it more. I might just learn something. I (will not say hate) "extremely dislike" the intense empathy I feel when I read some of the heart rendering posts here in the forum. I read this post and was compelled to cry (rather profusely I might add). I can easily put myself into a story and "live it" as if it were my very own. It will invoke all the emotions within that are poured into it by the authour. The part I don't like is the intensity I feel from these at times. I have to be careful what I read, watch on TV. Sometimes this can last for days if the emotion portayed in the event that unfolded was strong enough. It appears to get worse as I get older. Maybe I am just plain crazy.

The post above moved me deeply. Untill today I thought there could be nothing worse than the death of my furbabies. I was wrong. To have a baby escape and be lost....to not know where it is....if it is injured......hungry and cold....is it alive or dead ....it is pain for me as a guardian even greater than that of death itself. Then a thought popped into my head that was cause for a re-arrangment of my belief system...

"I pray this family can CLOSE the door on this issue..."

Resolution about the state of my furbaby would occupy my thoughts 24/7. To not know would turn me into a literal "basket case". It would be impossible for me to move forward, not knowing. If I knew one way or another what happened to the thing I loved most, I could "close" the door on this issue and proceed forward. I could either "rejoice" or "grieve", but I couldn't stay there.

Did someone just slap me in the head?

Maybe some people don't need closure, but I have now begun to think there is a definite place for it. In light of this revelation I need to say this...

John B...I publicly apologize for the trashing I gave "closure".
If I have injured you in anyway you have my deepest heartfelt apologies.
I wish I could give you a hug.