Scorning Closure Options

[xrayspex]

Sometimes I read that word here....

"closure"

I HATE THAT WORD!!!

Maybe I just misunderstand it.

Why would anyone want to close anything on the past when it comes to the death of one of our furbabies? Even after embracing the elusive goal of acceptance, why would one finalize the issue by "closing it"? I missed the boat on this one. All the pain that we went through, all the soul searching we did, it challenged our very belief system. Belief is the very core of who we all are. It shapes our thoughts, our decision making. When our furbabies die we begin a journey, (unwillingly kicking and screaming all the while), into ourselves which in some cases can lead to unexpected discovery and awakening to who we really are. Closure to me sounds like "forget" and I must admit I feel angry every time I say it. Do we not learn more about life in this brutal encounter with death? I don't get it. What about the knowledge that was forced upon us when it came to facing our worst fear in life? We were forced to endure a fundamental truth of the universe and that knowledge we had to choke down taught us much about life itself. That knowledge that results in the healing we seek prepares us for our next task....

more furbabies...

This is our lot. This is who we are. How fortunate we are to have helped in the circle of life and to think back of all the furbabies we have loved in our lives. Almost everybody here I have had contact with are "multiple furbaby gaurdians", past and present. To close anything on a single shred of this is a violation of our furbabies past and a total disregard for what we may have gained in the process.

Our journey, our pain, our love and devotion to creatures great and small provides us with insight that those out there with the idea that its "just a pet" don't get.

Its "closure" I don't get

[xrayspex]

La77 I agree with aspects of your post, however, at no time did I ever mention living in a state of "perpetual mourning". I concur that this is definitely not positive to forward movement through the grief process. If you percieved that from my post I am indeed sorry. I clearly remember speaking periodically of the growth and knowledge throughout the post

for example

We were forced to endure a fundamental truth of the universe and that knowledge we had to choke down taught us much about life itself. That knowledge that results in the healing we seek prepares us for our next task

That was one of the statements I made regarding positive movement forward. There was more but the point is now moot and I obviously was not clear in my endevour to provoke thought on acceptance, in short, I failed. As far as acceptance goes in my life, you couldn't be further from the truth. If I have caused you to think that I live in a state of perpetual mourning, I am truly sorry you interpreted the post in this fashion. Some people take more time to "give up the past" than others. I am happy you are where you are today in the grief process. Others need more time and that is okay, I don't think anyone in this forum "wants" to live their life feeling that they are mourning all the time. People here will come to terms in their own time and in their own way. They will find what they need. They will not, however, if they are "told" what they need.