Scorning Closure Options

[xrayspex]

Sometimes I read that word here....

"closure"

I HATE THAT WORD!!!

Maybe I just misunderstand it.

Why would anyone want to close anything on the past when it comes to the death of one of our furbabies? Even after embracing the elusive goal of acceptance, why would one finalize the issue by "closing it"? I missed the boat on this one. All the pain that we went through, all the soul searching we did, it challenged our very belief system. Belief is the very core of who we all are. It shapes our thoughts, our decision making. When our furbabies die we begin a journey, (unwillingly kicking and screaming all the while), into ourselves which in some cases can lead to unexpected discovery and awakening to who we really are. Closure to me sounds like "forget" and I must admit I feel angry every time I say it. Do we not learn more about life in this brutal encounter with death? I don't get it. What about the knowledge that was forced upon us when it came to facing our worst fear in life? We were forced to endure a fundamental truth of the universe and that knowledge we had to choke down taught us much about life itself. That knowledge that results in the healing we seek prepares us for our next task....

more furbabies...

This is our lot. This is who we are. How fortunate we are to have helped in the circle of life and to think back of all the furbabies we have loved in our lives. Almost everybody here I have had contact with are "multiple furbaby gaurdians", past and present. To close anything on a single shred of this is a violation of our furbabies past and a total disregard for what we may have gained in the process.

Our journey, our pain, our love and devotion to creatures great and small provides us with insight that those out there with the idea that its "just a pet" don't get.

Its "closure" I don't get

[Guest_la77_*]

I have to agree with John B.

I think the word "closure" is used so often in resolving a negative situation that it has bad connotations. I understand what you all mean about never "getting over it" or having "closure." However, John B. makes an excellent point. To live in perpetual mourning is not healthy. (Sorry, John - if I knew how to use the quote function, I would.)

I still miss my Janey - I always will. She was a huge part of my life. Do I think of her everyday? You bet I do. But I think fondly now. She brings an incredible smile to my face. I often speak to her as I pass her urn. I give her a kiss. I know she's with me. I couldn't see (feel) that before. I was too overcome with the grief of losing her physically in my life. I was overcome with the grief of losing who I was.

Closure isn't about forgetting their lives. It's about putting an end to the intense grief so that we can, once again, celebrate their lives! Janey and I can both "move on" now. I feel like she can truly rest in peace now, and I rest comfortably knowing that. The grief was keeping us apart - we are in tune with each other again. I've missed that feeling. If that's "closure" - I embrace it!