1 Week, a million tears Options

[KaseysMom]

I can't believe its been a whole week since i kissed that soft little belly.I guess your daddy and i agreed without saying so to not speak of you today, and it was so hard as we only have one another and I the folks here.noone calls noone cares and when i did mention you the other day while out i actully got an eyeroll i wanted to sceam, i dont know what is wrong with people! and i am begining not to care, the people i have been around have not given me any joy that i can remmember as opposed to you my baby that gave me so much joy everyday, i miss playing hide and seek with you and i hate that i can walk down the hall unacostted noone jumpimg out at me. Sydney just stays in bed with whoever is sleeping shes fine but i am sure she misses you too. i cant believe i even miss the litter pan we do not need 2 now and so Sdyney has to do both in the one pan,you girls were so funny using one for pee and the other for foo-stinky, its just insane the things that are gone like being able to answer "the grey one did it" when anything happens not having to shut the bedroom door so daddy can sleep without you two chasing each other over his head, no walking you to the mailbox, and i lit a candle today and was able to leave the room and not worry about the baby getting at it.even trowing away a cig pack has changed i cant bear to wad them up i just toss them away cause i know you wont be fighting me for them.and i cant help but wish i could help daddy more i see him mist up often and i know i can talk to him whenever i want but i see his heart breaking so i am trying to not as much i wil just try and talk here more, he put his every morning milk cup away with a stern warning for me not to throw it out. i really just dont know what were gonna do we boith miss you so much its so hard,the word moving even came up.I just hope you knew how much we wanted to save you, we would have done anything not to lose you anything but let you suffer.i cant see to type anymore i love you baby,im sure i will come here often

[KaseysMom]

Thanks Toonie, your right of corse. I bred persians for a while years ago. I had my first beautifull male and i just loved him he was cute fluffy and oh so beautiful, let me tell that cat wanted nothing to do with anyone he would let you pet him on his terms and never sit on a lap , i suppose it was beneth him, my best friend was killed in a car accident (drunk driver) and I was just a basket case it was a few days before x-mas and was so messed uo I sent my son away for the holidays as i just did not think it was fair to him, well let me tell you that aloof stand offish cat was my life saver. he left my side only to eat and potty! he sat with me, slept with me and got me through one of the worst times of my life, had i not always beeen a cat person and an animal lover in general that would have done it. a month later when ii was back at work all went back to normal but when i would have a bad day or crying he was always there to comfort , they always know when things are not well with you. I just wish I was that instinctive as I look back I can see things that told me that our Kasey was not well we used to think it amazing at some of the ways she would lay very uncat like now I realize she was trying to be comfortable I know there would have been little we could have done for her,and knowing may have been even harder and when i think we could have loved her more held her more thats not true we really could not have, I have lost cats and it was sad and i hurt over them. but this one I think because I have been off work since before i got her and she was just well my life she kept me laughing and not as sorry to be home as i might have been (as I am now) what a blessing she was to have and I am thankfull that i always knew that and was grateful every day for her. my son used to give me a hrd time and i remmember telling him when he wanted to move back with us and keep me rolling with laughter I would consider not spoiling the girls so much,,LOL needless to say he did not take me up on it.I think he was abit jealous as they had toys all over the place (Kasey did Syd does not play) and never had to pick them up mom did it..Hubby and I both hope to be able to have another furbaby to love and spoil but we know it would be unfair right now all babys deserve the best and we would be comparing and missing Kasey too much just now , we have decided to just wait and as we all know there always is some little one needing a home were just gonna let it happen, we thought it was happening the other day and we both just looked at each other with fear its way too soon.. we heard a baby crying in pain outside it wa awful when he went to look it was gone we think our neighbor caught it and took it to the shelter thats what we hope anyway (ours is a no kill) I was palnning to be a foster parent for them but our management has changed our rules so we can't, that was before Kasey left us and I wanted babies around. wel I made it through a typing with no tears so gonna close while i am ahead ..Thanks again
carolyn