1 Week, a million tears Options

[KaseysMom]

I can't believe its been a whole week since i kissed that soft little belly.I guess your daddy and i agreed without saying so to not speak of you today, and it was so hard as we only have one another and I the folks here.noone calls noone cares and when i did mention you the other day while out i actully got an eyeroll i wanted to sceam, i dont know what is wrong with people! and i am begining not to care, the people i have been around have not given me any joy that i can remmember as opposed to you my baby that gave me so much joy everyday, i miss playing hide and seek with you and i hate that i can walk down the hall unacostted noone jumpimg out at me. Sydney just stays in bed with whoever is sleeping shes fine but i am sure she misses you too. i cant believe i even miss the litter pan we do not need 2 now and so Sdyney has to do both in the one pan,you girls were so funny using one for pee and the other for foo-stinky, its just insane the things that are gone like being able to answer "the grey one did it" when anything happens not having to shut the bedroom door so daddy can sleep without you two chasing each other over his head, no walking you to the mailbox, and i lit a candle today and was able to leave the room and not worry about the baby getting at it.even trowing away a cig pack has changed i cant bear to wad them up i just toss them away cause i know you wont be fighting me for them.and i cant help but wish i could help daddy more i see him mist up often and i know i can talk to him whenever i want but i see his heart breaking so i am trying to not as much i wil just try and talk here more, he put his every morning milk cup away with a stern warning for me not to throw it out. i really just dont know what were gonna do we boith miss you so much its so hard,the word moving even came up.I just hope you knew how much we wanted to save you, we would have done anything not to lose you anything but let you suffer.i cant see to type anymore i love you baby,im sure i will come here often

[KaseysMom]

well i made it through week 2 and i must have let you slip my mind for a minute cause i walked up on Sydney and thought it was you. I dont do that as I am to aware that your gone,i sure hope that someday i can find the fact that you 2 were bookends funny again but right now its just awfull painful, i am trying so hard to be able to think of you and not cry you broght me so much joy and laughter it seems wrong to be this sad, I miss you so much Sydney is being so loving (believe or not)and were giving her a lot of attention I feel bad for her to think she only started loving on you mrer days before you were gone from us,but i know you loved her so much and I am glad you got a little in return at last, sometimes i just think i am going to lose my mind, its just too quiet here nothing breaking or falling, I do think I am handling this better then Daddy cause at least i come here and type it out, he is lost as well. this morning he came to me and said I am so sad he thinks about you all the time and still thinks your going to greet him at the door. I sure wish i could help him but i cant even help myself evan now i can hardly see to type God this hurts so much i love you