My Baby, Mourning Options

[KaseysMom]

I just have to say what happened ,I have a few friends and more family,and but for my husband none of them understand nor do they seem to care. I have had one out of all say I am sorry to hear....I just need to tell it to someone who understands so here goes.
Kasey was only 9mo.s old She wa a supprise for my Husband (he'd never had a kitten) when I went to pick her up she was so tiny and to young to leave mom but she was in a bad situation and I just could not leave her! So home she came and she just lit up the house! We had Sydney (4) our other cat and Shorty (3) Our parakeet that we got for Sydney.But Kasey Just seemed to be the completion of our little family! Anyway life wa just one big love fest in our house. My husband and I had had 7 really hard years trying to be together I had gotten Sydney while he was forced to be in Austrlia for 6 long mo.s (imagrations woes for 7 years)any way,everything was comming together. 3 weeks ago out of the blue Shorty passed we were crushed we love that little bird.We had a little service for him. and planted a rose.And I held on to Kasey alot I have been unable to work for 7 mo.s so she was my constant companion.She had and extra digit so I taught her to shake,she fetched just like a dog, and we went for walks she took to a leash right away.On moday a week after Shorty had passed we took both girls in to be spayed I remmeber we both were so nervous about leaving them but they came out fine and Sydey was even better all of the sudden she love her little sister and Kasey had always loved her in 2 days they were all better.On sat. we were talking about how lucky we were! on sunday I gave the girls there snack at 9:00 at 9:45 I said to hubby as he was leaving Kasey looks like shes having trouble breathing @ 12 I was on the phone telling him to come give me the car to take her to the er. We had talked about it we figured I was just being a nervous because of Shorty So even though I was upset I kept thinking that I was just being hysterical that she had a hairball or at worst an infection from the surgery.It turned out to be one of the longest nights of my life.She went from crying for her snack to 3 hours later having no hope.With-in an hour I was getting Kaseys daddy from work so he could hear and then we left for them to do more test! It was wosre then they thought its was feline lukemia and no hope only torture for her if we tried to save her which we did fight over abit I just could not let my baby suffer hubby wanted to take her home just one more night with her, when they brought her in she was having such trouble breathing (and we had had them Tap her lungs just an hour before) it was awful. We had a few minutes with her I let her have all the Baby beef (favorite snack) she could eat which was not alot then we held her while they gave her the shot.I dont remmemeber ever feeling pain like that! Being responsable for that tiny life slipping away,and I have never seen pain like that in Ty's eyes(hubby)I have lost precious pets before a few were very tragic and trumatic but I am not copeing with this at all By the time I found this place its been 4 days and I just am not healing. Did not help when the er called yesterday and threatend not to do as we wished with her if we did not pay the bill immediatly. they called her it and well what a mess..anyway if you made it all the way thru this I thank you so much so listening I came home from the hospital and wrote a poem for her but this is so long I may post it later. thanks
KaseysMom

[Lucy1Josie2]

I'm glad you have clean dishes now, and that you got through doing them, even though I can picture you crying through the whole dishwashing process, and my heart goes out to you even more. Remembered routines are the hardest, but if taken just one thing at a time, knowing it's okay to be sad and to cry through them, somehow we get through them. Hearing how you rubbed that ball on your keychain just breaks my heart for you, I understand exactly what you needed just then, and what that ball meant to you.

Try and remember, too, that you can also talk to Kasey all you want to in your heart. Tell her you love her and that you always will, tell her you miss her, tell her you'll never forget her. And then, when you start feeling strong enough after a while, maybe your heart will be able to start telling her about something funny that happened today, or about something nice someone said. When there's a death, all that means is that the relationship has to change -- it doesn't mean it has to completely end altogether.

Whatever makes you feel better, do it. That'll make Kasey happy. And give Sydney a big hug and kiss from the friends you have here!

(And Toonie, I love that Erica Jong quote, it's beautiful)

-- Michelle (Lucy & Josie's mom)