My Old Man, Tucker, Pet loss Options

[chrismnc]

My old man, Tucker, lost his battle with Ossifying Spondylosis last week. We tried everything, every medicine... On Sunday, he couldn't get up then tried to bite us as we tried to help him up. We made the decision then. On Monday I took him to my vet and had to practically carry him. The euthanasia was peaceful. Not like my cat. I laid with him and told him I loved him the whole time. We had a vacation planned for two days later. I was so busy getting ready for the vacation, that I let myself be in denial. It hit me two days into my vacation. I have cried myself to sleep almost everynight since. Tucker was 16. He was diagnosed with the spondylosis about 3 years ago. We treated his symptoms ever since. He was never easy to sedate; even getting his teeth cleaned was risky. He stopped breathing twice with the last teeth cleaning. So, surgery was not an option. He was at the vet every month for blood tests to monitor his kidneys and liver function. His kidneys were beginning to show wear from the meds. I noticed that his kidney function was slowing down, then he couldn't get up. I told myself that if that happened I would do what is right. It does not make it easier though. I go home tomorrow. I can't wait, and I dread it. My other two dogs will be there waiting for me. I miss them so much. How I am going to handle greeting just the two of them, I don't know. It took so long to get through the grief of loosing my cat, Elvis, just over a year ago.... I hope I am strong enough to go through this again. My heart aches.

Attached image(s)

 

[chrismnc]

I have been working myself to the bone. I have started a huge project in my yard. Gardening has alwasys been theraputic for me. I slept hard last night. Didn't wake up once. I haven't done that in weeks.

It has been 12 days. I still haven't picked up Tucker's ashes. I can't look into urns yet. I am not ready.

I am able to be "better" to myself this time around and I thank you all for that. It was this site that got me through loosing my cat, Elvis. I knew immediately where to turn this time, when I was ready. Thank you so much.

Very few people understand. When people hear about Tucker, they often tell me their story.... so few people care like I/we do. I have heard things that make me not even want to associate with some of them anymore. Tucker had very little bladder control. I NEVER saw that as a reason to end his life. I made belly bands for him that were black and he had gotten very used to wearing them when he needed to. I am so quick to judge others right now. That is not my normal way. I am a live and let live person. I am trying to work on that and not let my grief make decisions for me.


Thank you all again for al of your support.

Chris

Attached image(s)