My Old Man, Tucker, Pet loss Options

[chrismnc]

My old man, Tucker, lost his battle with Ossifying Spondylosis last week. We tried everything, every medicine... On Sunday, he couldn't get up then tried to bite us as we tried to help him up. We made the decision then. On Monday I took him to my vet and had to practically carry him. The euthanasia was peaceful. Not like my cat. I laid with him and told him I loved him the whole time. We had a vacation planned for two days later. I was so busy getting ready for the vacation, that I let myself be in denial. It hit me two days into my vacation. I have cried myself to sleep almost everynight since. Tucker was 16. He was diagnosed with the spondylosis about 3 years ago. We treated his symptoms ever since. He was never easy to sedate; even getting his teeth cleaned was risky. He stopped breathing twice with the last teeth cleaning. So, surgery was not an option. He was at the vet every month for blood tests to monitor his kidneys and liver function. His kidneys were beginning to show wear from the meds. I noticed that his kidney function was slowing down, then he couldn't get up. I told myself that if that happened I would do what is right. It does not make it easier though. I go home tomorrow. I can't wait, and I dread it. My other two dogs will be there waiting for me. I miss them so much. How I am going to handle greeting just the two of them, I don't know. It took so long to get through the grief of loosing my cat, Elvis, just over a year ago.... I hope I am strong enough to go through this again. My heart aches.

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[John B]

Dear Chris,
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. It really is normal but that doesn't make it easier. I know that you know that in time you mind will kind of filter out the intense emotional pain and leave everything else that is good. What helped me is to pray for peace over and over again when a wave of depression rolled over me. It did seem to help. Also talking to these guys is the best. I'm still in mourning, but I actually went all day yesterday without crying...I'm just remembering that now. It been over 3 months since my Sadie passed, but little by little the wound heals.

Take care
John B