My Old Man, Tucker, Pet loss Options

[chrismnc]

My old man, Tucker, lost his battle with Ossifying Spondylosis last week. We tried everything, every medicine... On Sunday, he couldn't get up then tried to bite us as we tried to help him up. We made the decision then. On Monday I took him to my vet and had to practically carry him. The euthanasia was peaceful. Not like my cat. I laid with him and told him I loved him the whole time. We had a vacation planned for two days later. I was so busy getting ready for the vacation, that I let myself be in denial. It hit me two days into my vacation. I have cried myself to sleep almost everynight since. Tucker was 16. He was diagnosed with the spondylosis about 3 years ago. We treated his symptoms ever since. He was never easy to sedate; even getting his teeth cleaned was risky. He stopped breathing twice with the last teeth cleaning. So, surgery was not an option. He was at the vet every month for blood tests to monitor his kidneys and liver function. His kidneys were beginning to show wear from the meds. I noticed that his kidney function was slowing down, then he couldn't get up. I told myself that if that happened I would do what is right. It does not make it easier though. I go home tomorrow. I can't wait, and I dread it. My other two dogs will be there waiting for me. I miss them so much. How I am going to handle greeting just the two of them, I don't know. It took so long to get through the grief of loosing my cat, Elvis, just over a year ago.... I hope I am strong enough to go through this again. My heart aches.

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[toonie]

My heart goes out to you. I SO understand how you can't stand being inside the house without your Tucker, it's been the same for me. I used to enjoy my evenings spent reading in the love seat in our TV room, Yukon would either be on me, on the seat next to me or on the arm rest. I can no longer stay in that room like I've always done before, the void is just unbearable. I sometimes think I would like to change the furniture or at least that loveseat but I can imagine how the family would think I'm overreacting at the same time maybe I can't really stand the idea of changing the furniture because it will be some that Yukon wasn't in....It took me so long to change the sheets in my bed, it broke my heart to do that.
Those filaments that grew over the years to unite us are not easily cut off-- rather they seem to slowly and painfully stretch away from us and though they will eventually get so thin they become almost invisible and won't be felt as much they will always remain and show us the way for the day we can be reunited. Hope that Tucker is soothing you through it all. When you are able to, please tell us how you are doing. WE CARE