My Dog Was Put Down Because Of Dcm Options

[dobielover]

[COLOR=blue]
Hi there.
My name is Jamie and i was a owner of a beautiful 4 yr. old doberman named A.J.
I just had to put him down on Friday, July 30th due to an illness called DCM.
I cant stand this guilt and hurt and numbness all over me. I keep feeling like i made the wrong choice, that i should of waited a couple more days. Im so sick to my stomach that i vomited when i got home. I need to stop this torchure that im doing to myself. I just feel like i disappointed him by killing him. I know i didnt kill him, but i brought him to the vet and signed for him to be put down. I just wish i could convince myself i did the right thing. Everyone says i did the best for him. I still dont think so. I CANT STAND IT!!! I miss him SO much! I cant breath at times cause i get so upset about him. I just want him home again.
I feel so guilty,sick,upset,misserable,regret........i just want him back!

[Arnold]

Oh, Jamie. I am so sorry for your loss. It was actually my reading of your story that caused me to register and share my own loss at this site. It is so wonderful to know that people have read your story and they tell you "You did well." We are all so filled with guilt that we need to hear that from other human beings. My loss is as fresh as yours is and I spend the day alternating between being "okay" and bursting into tears. I'm telling myself that is okay. Something I need to do. And so do you. It is only by feeling our grief that we get to the other side of it. I share your pain, Jamie. We all do. It means you are one of those very special people who has so much love he/she is willing to take on the pain of adopting a (can I say non-human creature?) and literally fulfilling all of his/her needs. What an outstanding thing to do! I know so many people who will not adopt a pet because they don't want to bear the pain. You made the choice that the love and joy you could share with your pet was worth the pain that you knew you would feel some day.

Reading the posts today helped me A LOT! I realized that it was simply my Arnold's time to go. It was my wish to help him live if that is what was meant to be, but to acknowledge God's greater design if this was truly my Arnold's time. Your situation was a bit different in that you had to make the decision. The bottom line is that none of us wants our little baby to suffer. I received the "report" from the animal hospital today. The last lines indicated that he (Arnold) passed quickly and with no pain. I needed to know that. And that is what you wanted, ultimately, for your baby. You did the right thing. Every day will bring both of us closer to acceptance. Every day will bring us both to a place where we remember the sweet funny things are sweeties did without the burning, bitter pain. I know. I've lost a beloved pet before, although it was many years ago. I know we can get through this.