Beautiful Moon Options

[Moonie]

I'm really sorry, it's really long. I'm just writing out what is in my head. Probably it won't make sense because I can't even think straight.

Lost my room rabbit, the one who made me laugh, confused me, was there is the early hours when no one else was, was everything a pet could be and more. She was my friend, a special friend.

Moon, my beautiful Moon, died yesterday.

Why? The cat gave her fleas, and we treated the fleas and she had a bad reaction to the medication.

Nothing terminal, just something that made her uncomfortable, and for that she lost her life.

In the past 15 months, she is the 5 rabbit of mine to die (the first one was groomed by the cat and went into shock, got a cold and died, the 2nd went in labour, the 3rd of old age [he was nearly 12 so he had a fab long life], the 4th from kidney problems).

In the past 6 weeks I have gone from having 9 healthy, happy rabbits, to 6 healthy happy rabbits. But for how much longer? How long 'til the next one goes.

Moon, you were always there, you made me laugh, made me cry, taught me a lot, gave me a friend. You have given me so many memories, some make me laugh, some make me cry.

The last contact you gave me was to lick me. You knew you were dying, I held you fleetingly, and you licked all over my arm. I will forever remember that. You showed me how much you loved me, and now I know the love I gave you was not one way love.

I know you had an amazing life, you loved life, you were happy, never alone, and as free as you could be.

My beautiful curly whirly girly, you will forever be in my heart.

Fly free with your daddy, fly free with your friends, fly free for eternity

I love you darling.

[Moonie]

You are right, and I know you are, however, I already have severe depression and many other mental health problems. I know that if I was to actually feel, then right now I would be dead. This is the only way I can keep myself alive, thus keeping her memory alive (and the memories of all the others I have lost recently alive).

I totally understand what you are saying, your words are very wise, and I am glad that you are now feeling better in yourself, yet so sorry for your losses.

I can hardly remember anything frm the past few days, and the things I remember least is what I write. I don't know what I wrote in this post, and can't bear to read it. I have contacted pet bereavement support people, and keep getting e-mails from them, in response to something I sent, yet having no idea what I sent.

I can't think straight, or do anything. I am existing on auto-pilot.

Thank you so much for the comment and the advice, I know you are right, but I have no other way to deal with it right now.

I really want to help and support people on this site, I feel bad that I can't think of any words for people. But I thank you all for words you have written to me.