Almost A Week Since I Lost My Babies....., I feel so guilty because I can't bond... Options

[danslady]

A week tomorrow since my baby Katie left on her journey and took Gizzy with her. I feel so separated from everyone and everything. We have a beautiful Siberian Husky (Dixie) that wants to get into bed with me and wants me to love her. I do love her, but I can't seem to make my heart love her like I do the others. I miss Katie so much. I just want my life back with my babies. When I pull into the driveway, I automatically look in the front window to see if Gizzy is sitting there waiting for me. I come into the house and expect Katie to be lying there waiting for her hug and kiss. I just feel empty. I am supposed to go pick Katie up from the vet tomorrow, and I don't know if I can stand knowing that all she is now is a few ashes contained within that small box. She was larger than life, and Gizzy was on me constantly at night. Now I no longer feel that soft hair rubbing against my face. I can no longer bury my face into Katie's sleek black coat. I am miserable, and I don't know how to help myself feel better. Gizzy's mom is pregnant again with her last litter, and I don't even want to be around when they are born. I'm really trying to love the others as much as I do them, but it's just not happening. The silence here is deafening. I know I am jumping from one subject to another, but I am just saying what is in my heart.


Katie & Gizzy
ALWAYS LOVED, NEVER FORGOTTEN