Really Hurting, Feeling Mo's absence more than ever Options

[Mo&Maisie'sMom]

The last couple of days have really been awful. I've been crying constantly and feeling that horrible, empty pit of grief that makes you physically sick. The pet memorial park nearby called me on Friday to let me know (very nicely, thank God) that my credit card wasn't working. (The bank had since sent a new one due to a security issue & in the midst of everything, I didn't think to call them). It takes almost 8 weeks to receive their ashes around here. I had to call them back today with the new card number, and although they were extremely compassionate, I could barely hold it together on the phone. I heard her say "Mo" and I just couldn't believe that she was talking about my boy, my best friend and baby for all these years, who was so full of life and light, who kept me sane through some awful experiences, and now he's just ashes? I have never felt pain like this..I can't believe he's gone. I think it's just really hitting me that this is it, and I can't stop weeping. I miss every little thing...I miss him more and more as the days pass..I don't know if I did the right thing anymore..how am I going to get through this?

[ryancat]

M&M's Mom, I'm so sorry you had such a sad day.I can't know the pain of getting a phone call saying your babies ashes are ready for pick up because we chose to bury our baby in our backyard garden.But I understand how one day you feel like things are getting better and then out of nowhere bamm! It hits you like a ton of bricks.We lost our boy Sox back in Oct. and I still visit his grave almost every day.I feel a peace from going to visit his final resting place even tho I know in my heart that he isn't there at all.He's safe and happy waiting at the rainbow bridge for when it is our time to pass on.Your beautiful Mo will be waiting for you as well so try to remember the good times you had with him when your sad.Like Lori said,don't be so hard on yourself.You did the best that you knew how to do and your baby knew that and he loved you for it.He is home now.......so try to take comfort in knowing that.I know it is of little consolation because the bottom line you still miss him.It does suck that he's not here,it sucks that all of our babies aren't here but we must go on without them because we have no other choice.My hear goes out to you tonight and I hope you'll soon find some peace.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)