I Can't Do This Again, Losing another furbaby Options

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We found out last Saturday that our 14 year old miniature schnauzer, Pepper, has hemangiosarcoma. He has a tumor off his spleen that basically takes up his entire abdomen.

We lost his mama, Molly, on March 29th last year.

I first came to this site after suddenly losing our 10 year old black lab, Phoenix, in 2004.

Somebody please help me! The vet says there is absolutely nothing that can be done for Pepper. Surgery won't add any appreciable time to his life. So, I just have to sit here and wait for him to die.

I HATE THIS WORLD. I HATE GOD. HOW CAN THERE BE SO MUCH DAMN PAIN AND GRIEF IN THIS WORLD?

I can't stand it. I really, really cannot stand it.

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Pepper died this morning at 9:00 at home. DH said Pepper went outside on his own this morning to go potty, he came back in and went to his room (crate) for breakfast. DH put his breakfast down in front of him but Pepper didn't want it and he was breathing rapidly (panting).

DH came and woke me up and said "I think it's time" and of course I knew immediately what he meant. So, I jump up and I'm saying "Oh God, Oh God" in a panic, trying to find clothes to throw on, trying desperately to get in touch with our vet (his office is open every other Saturday - it was closed today). While I'm throwing on clothes, DH calls back upstairs - don't rush - he's gone.

Apparently, Pepper just laid down in his crate and died. He never made a sound and it was over extremely quickly.

Our hearts are broken. But we are thankful that he never seemed to be in pain (there was some discomfort but not pain that we could tell) and we are grateful he didn't have to go through the trauma of being put to sleep. I kept waiting for the tell tell signs that the vet told me would indicate it was time to put him to sleep - the panting (which only started this morning), and being too weak to stand - that never happened.

I miss my Peanut but I am so happy that he is no longer sick. I only hope we did not allow him to suffer. I never would have done that.