Kasha, Mommys Lil Girl, 18 days without my baby Options

[Stargazer_gold]

I'm so glad to have found this site. 18 days ago I had to put my little westie mix girl to sleep. I am devastated beyond belief! Kasha had a relaspe of a middle ear infection, she didnt know up from down and her eyes rolled around wildly. The Vet didnt have much hope for her. After 3 days of treatment he finally said it was time and that she was suffering. So I said go ahead and put her to sleep. Now I have feelings of guilt, I should of been there for her last moments to comfort her and ease her passage but I wasnt strong enough to do this one last thing for her, I will never forgive myself for letting her down. I wonder if I should of taken her else where for a second opinion..........so many unasnswered questions. I am so lost without her little presence. Tomorrow her ashes should be in at the vets, so tomorrow will be a really hard day for me. I have 2 other dogs but they dont seem to be any comfort to me, I was really only close to Kasha, from the day I got her we formed such a strong and loving bond. I spoiled her beyond reason and for that i do take comfort in, she may not of had long in this world but at least she had it all for the time she was here. I miss the smell of her, sounds crazy but I do. When I went to bed at night she slept with her head on my pillow cuddled up to me and I would put my face down in her fur , smelling her and I would go to sleep that way. Everything I did I did for her. Now I feel as if I have nothing but this empty painful void in my heart. I feel like I have lost something vital in my life that will never be replaced. Kasha truely was one of a kind and unique. 3 years was not enough time.

[Moose Mom]

Kasha's mommy

Nothing is wrong with you, nothing. We all grieve in our own time. There is no normal with grief. Things got some better for me at about a month, I still cried every day, but not all day. You may also still have bad days.

One thing, and I don't mean to dump on anyones grief, but Kasha was only three, poor baby. To me it seems the longer we have them, the more memories we have of them, the harder it is. It does feel a bit like betraying them, I understand. I had a kitty who died at 2, it was hard but, well I don't really know how to explain it, just not AS hard. We will still always love them and miss them.

Love