Did I Adopt Again Too Soon?, I'm not bonding with my new cats Options

[KellyeN]

I adopted two young cats on Friday, less than two weeks after I lost my beloved Zeke. I thought I was ready for new pets, but now I'm not sure I was. I don't want to even look at the new arrivals. One, a female about 3 years old, is very skittish and has spent most of the past three days hiding under the bed. Feeling as I do, I fear I won't want to spend the time or effort to help her adjust to her new surroundings. The other, a 2-year-old male, is very friendly, but when he climbs into my lap, I just want him to leave. I was hoping having them in the house would help me heal; instead, I want Zeke back more than ever.

What should I do? One of my friends tells me I should hang on to the cats, that I will grow to love them. But what if I don't? Should I make them stay in a home with someone who may only be, at best, mildly interested in them? I adopted them from a rescue group, and I know the group would take them back ...

[Moose Mom]

It's only been a few days since you got them, a relationship will take time. With a new kid the first thing I try to do is find what is wonderful and special about them. Each is a unique being, a special wonderful being, and you can find that. They will not be like Zeke, they will be like themselves. I know you want Zeke back, but that isn't going to happen.

When I lost my very best friend and kitty cat, Butch, 10 years ago I got a new kitten just 4 days after he passed. There were times I hated her for being alive when my Butch couldn't be. Her name is Autumn and I love her so much for her now, but the relationship did take time.

I would hold and love the little boy who needs a lap in honor of Zeke. It helps me to think my lost baby sent me the new kids. My Moustache kitty has been gone three months and at we have a new kitty. We have had Majik two months now and I have felt sad often that he is not Moose. I have felt bad that I don't love him like I loved my Moose. I am slowly finding the wonderful things about him, letting him sleep on my lap. Letting him creep into my heart.

Your new girl is afraid, new house new brother. I would give her some time to hide. The fact is that you and Zeke had a very special, intense realtionship, that maybe only comes along once in a lifetime. The feeling you had for him you will never have again. Even if you get that close to another cat, the feeling will be different. Just try to be delighted and find joy in what you do have.

Should I make them stay in a home with someone who may only be, at best, mildly interested in them?

Well only you can make that decission, but so many cats ONLY have shelter to live in and a great many don't even have that. Wouldn't it be better to have a warm home and enough food, even if you never get more than 'mildly interested'? I think, and this is just me, that you need to give a at least a little more time. A month or two isn't much and the rescue group would still take them back.


I almost forgot, I used my Autumn as a 'kitty Kleenex' I would just hold her and cry about my lost boy. She soaked up a lot of tears, and that helped us bond.

This post has been edited by Moose Mom: Feb 6 2007, 12:35 PM