I Can't Do This Again, Losing another furbaby Options

[jan]

We found out last Saturday that our 14 year old miniature schnauzer, Pepper, has hemangiosarcoma. He has a tumor off his spleen that basically takes up his entire abdomen.

We lost his mama, Molly, on March 29th last year.

I first came to this site after suddenly losing our 10 year old black lab, Phoenix, in 2004.

Somebody please help me! The vet says there is absolutely nothing that can be done for Pepper. Surgery won't add any appreciable time to his life. So, I just have to sit here and wait for him to die.

I HATE THIS WORLD. I HATE GOD. HOW CAN THERE BE SO MUCH DAMN PAIN AND GRIEF IN THIS WORLD?

I can't stand it. I really, really cannot stand it.

[lynda]

Oh, Jan, what a beautiful baby...I am so terribly sorry this is happening. I understand completely how outraged you are. I, too, want to know why the innocent suffer, and the deserving are robbed of happiness and health. My fur son Larry, one of the sweetest and most loving creatures ever to walk this earth, was found to have this same disease, and I had to make the choice for him on Christmas morning. Larry was the light of my life. No amount of words can ever explain how dear and special he was to me.

We were so close, I always felt that when the time came for this, I would crash, just not be able to handle it. Then, suddenly, there came the time. I was not expecting it. So much of his earthly body was still so whole. But he had shown me his pain, and the emergency vet showed me the radiographs which explained it. I had no choice but to believe that there was nothing in his earthly future but suffering. And now there is little that anyone can do or say to make me feel a lot better. As a last expression of love, I let my baby go. That was the right thing, but it was just like cutting my own heart out. Never thought I'd have the strength. But for our babies, we find the strength somewhere.

You are in my thoughts tonight as you go through these terrible hours. I know you are wracked with pain. We are all here for you, that's all we can do, but we understand...the agony, the rage, the conflicting thoughts about what to do and how you are ever going to do it. Thank you for allowing us to share your feelings, we are all gathered around you and our hearts are with you.