New Here...just Lost My Cat Options

[mollysmom07]

I just lost my best friend and baby at 3am suddenly. She had been sick off and on the last year. She was 10 years old. I am absolutely heartbroken. I can't stop crying. I am so glad I stumbled onto this forum. I have a daughter that is 4. She is doing better than I and asks when we are getting a new kittie. I am sorry if I am rambling. I have been up all night and haven't eaten in 24 hours. My Molly saw me through so much and was by my side through my infertility, my grandmother's death, my divorce, 2 major surgeries and the adoption of my daughter. In 2 weeks I am having back surgery and my assurance was knowing that Molly would be by my side in bed and on the couch. What do I do know? How will I get through this surgery without her? I walk through the house and see her everywhere. I hear her and smell her. THis is my first pet of my own. I can't even be strong in front of my daughter. She is the one telling me "it will be ok Mom". I feel so much despair. I didn't see it coming. It hit so fast. She suffered really bad the last 12-16 hours. How do I cope? I have been on the phone to my friends and they have been great. My family have been the pits but they are very dysfunctional. My dad cussed the entire time he dug her grave. I just spoke to her and petted her gently and blocked it out. I am just a mess. Somehow I have to pull myself together and go to school and teach tomorrow. Does anyone have any advice? I have tried to read some posts but they really upset me and I couldn't quit crying. I just want her back so bad. I feel helpless. I am sure it will get better but it doesn't seem that way right now. I hurt too much

Thanks for listening.
Kim

[mollysmom07]

Good morning to all,

Well, I did get some sleep from exhaustion. Olivia slept right by my side. This is technically my first morning without Molly. I get up this morning and usually Molly is right in the hall waiting for me. The tears start. THen I feed her and she talks, talks and talks to me. That one killed me in the kitchen. So I am bawling. I talk to her picture for awhile. Sleeping was much better then being awake. I did force myself to eat a little. I hope my 5th grade class cuts me some slack today. They are really good so they should. The sad part will be the tons of cards my girls will make me today. I will cry again. They are the sweetest. I will probably eat with them as to not be alone.

I can't thank all of you enough for YOUR stories and support. You have NO idea how much this helps me. I would totally lost right now. I am trying hard to focus on my daughter and let go of my guilt. Molly was totally spoiled and I hope she knew that. She was a butterball and I treated her like a human. Heck, I even caught Olivia putting eyeshadow and glitter makeup on her. Now that is laidback!

Thank you again for listening to me. You all are the best.

I will work on the picture. That would really help me.
Kim