New Here...just Lost My Cat Options

[mollysmom07]

I just lost my best friend and baby at 3am suddenly. She had been sick off and on the last year. She was 10 years old. I am absolutely heartbroken. I can't stop crying. I am so glad I stumbled onto this forum. I have a daughter that is 4. She is doing better than I and asks when we are getting a new kittie. I am sorry if I am rambling. I have been up all night and haven't eaten in 24 hours. My Molly saw me through so much and was by my side through my infertility, my grandmother's death, my divorce, 2 major surgeries and the adoption of my daughter. In 2 weeks I am having back surgery and my assurance was knowing that Molly would be by my side in bed and on the couch. What do I do know? How will I get through this surgery without her? I walk through the house and see her everywhere. I hear her and smell her. THis is my first pet of my own. I can't even be strong in front of my daughter. She is the one telling me "it will be ok Mom". I feel so much despair. I didn't see it coming. It hit so fast. She suffered really bad the last 12-16 hours. How do I cope? I have been on the phone to my friends and they have been great. My family have been the pits but they are very dysfunctional. My dad cussed the entire time he dug her grave. I just spoke to her and petted her gently and blocked it out. I am just a mess. Somehow I have to pull myself together and go to school and teach tomorrow. Does anyone have any advice? I have tried to read some posts but they really upset me and I couldn't quit crying. I just want her back so bad. I feel helpless. I am sure it will get better but it doesn't seem that way right now. I hurt too much

Thanks for listening.
Kim

[ryancat]

Kim,I am so sorry for all that you are going thur.My heart goes out to you.You are certainly not alone in your feelings.All of us here on this site know what it's like to lose a beloved pet.It hurts more than words can say.Lori said it right that when you experience a death your reality has to change.That is not an easy thing to do.For the sake of your daughter please try to take care of yourself.Try to eat something and if you can't then at least drink lots of water.The first few days are the toughest but you never really get used to it.You just learn to live with it.I would love to see a picture of your baby too when you feel up to it.As for your family not being supportive then forget about them for awhile.Take care of you and your daughter.If your a teacher couldn't you use some of your sick days to call in tomorrow?As for your surgery ask a friend to come and stay at your house with you for awhile if you can so you don't have loads of time to sit and think about your baby being gone.And for your guilt,please,please,please let go of it...it won't help you a bit to feel guilty.You did everything you possibly could for your baby but it was just her time.Take comfort in knowing that she's no longer in pain and that you will see her again some day.I hope by knowing that there are other people in the world who are feeling the same kind of hurt that you do that it makes it alittle bit easier to manage.We care and we understand what your going thur.Please come back as often as you need to.We'll be here and together we will get thur this most awful time.My thoughts and prayers are with you tonight.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)