Time And Grief Options

[Furkidlets' Mom]

These are 2 paragraphs from the article by Pat Schwiebert, R.N. that I just posted in the resource section here (italics are mine).

Wasting time.
Though in real life I pride myself in being a master at mult*itasking, in the land of grief I’m much less sure of myself. I find it hard to make decisions because, in my new situation, I don’t trust myself to make the right choice. I want someone else to be responsible if something goes wrong. Sometimes my wasting time is about not having the energy to get started. I am physically exhausted and my body refuses to make an effort to reclaim my former self. And I admit, quite frankly, that I’m not sure I even care enough about anything to make the effort. What’s the use, since it seems like everything I love sooner or later gets taken away from me.

Looking back in time.
When we grieve we spend most of our time, at least at first, looking back. It seems safer that way. That’s where our missing loved ones are. If we were to look forward, that would mean we would have to imagine our lives without those we have lost. And that’s what we aren’t ready to accept--not yet. So we spend a lot of time thinking how we should have been able to prevent their dying, or wondering if we used our time with them well, as we remember the good times, bad times, silly and sad times. We think we have to keep those memories in front of us, or surely we will forget those whom we have lost.

I find these are places where I'm spending alot of that linear time lately (especially the italisized sections), with no will or inner means to shift out from there. And I find I'm feeling guilty about being stuck in these phases, not because of what others might think, but because it also feels like my time on earth is rapidly running out (in many ways, a most welcome thought!!) and I'm nowhere near where I'd prefer to end up before I, too, die. The only thing that even propels me to keep 'reaching for the stars' if you will, is that if I'm not more 'evolved' by the time my own time comes to leave, maybe I WON'T be able to be on the same plane as my kidlets, and I'll be doomed to stay stuck in the quagmire I now find myself in! I'd rather be totally and completely w/o any consciousness than have that happen! Anyone else feel this way, too?

[Precious' mom]

This experience, and watching my 90 year old mother struggle to care for her 22 year old cat, made me wonder what it would take to start an organization, like Meals on Wheels, to help the elderly and the disabled keep their pets at home.

We have that program already where I live! There's a Meals on Wheels for elderly people AND their pets. All are well taken care of by very kind volunteers. One of my friends does this every weekend and she has told me that so many elderly people who live alone with pets for company are moved to tears by the kindness and concern of the volunteers. Many take these people's pets to the vet when the owners cannot, which is such a miraculous thing. Some of these people's pets are all they have and they are like surrogate children.
God bless the volunteers for all of their selfless giving!!
Lisa G.