Euthanasia, Help me to accept I did the right thing Options

[sheps mama]

I am new to the forum & don't know if I am using it properly, please bear with me. I have just lost my precious Old English Sheepdog, Shep. He was 14 1/2 years old and I don't think I will ever feel normal again. The vet advised us over a month ago to put him to sleep as old age was wrecking his body. He was having problems walking at times but his spirit was willing - it was just his body that was letting him down. He was clearly suffering froom old age but because we were with him all the time, it seemed very gradual to us and not as bad as the vet made out. We love this boy with every bit of us and now the pain is just too much to bear. He was the most loving, giving creature and now I feel that I have let him down just when he needed us most. We did the inevitable yesterday and I feel like someone has ripped me apart from the inside out. I have cried, screamed and shouted and nothing is making this feeling of overwhelming guilt & sorrow go away. How could I have believed that we were doing this for his good? I held his head in my hands as he slipped away and now his face is haunting my every moment. I knew I would never ever be ready to accept that it was his time but now I feel that he wasn't ready either - the way he looked at me as he slipped away - I will never ever forgive myself. I feel that life has just lost it's sparkle and I will never here or see my precious boy again. Can someone please help me believe that we did the right thing before I lose my mind altogether?

[My Buddy]

Dear Sheps and Ceasar's Mom's...you both have just beautiful dogs, thanks for sharing the pictures. Your feelings and situations both mirror our own with my boy Hrudey. He was in alot of pain in fact I worry that I didn't realize it soon enough and continued to justify his slowing down and the few glimmers of his old self...etc...but again the look of distress and trying to breathe, his heart racing was too much to bear... it does help realize that the decision had to be made..

It is just over a week now since I held him for the last time. Its so strange, I don't think I completely get it yet...so horrible, I am still looking for him everywhere, we still have his bed down, his bowls in the kitchen, and pictures everywhere...I can't bear to change anything....my seven year old daughter is talking about a new puppy today, if you can imagine that conversation, I have to be understanding of her feelings she is so young....but inside I am screaming, no way!! how can you even think that? of course we can brush her off, and then my husband has laid off last October and a new job is possible out of state, an actual dream to move closer to family, but to move without my boy...I can't imagine it...although I am sure he is with us...just thinking about all these changes is too much right now. Anyway, thanks for sharing, I am sorry for both your losses...and you are in my prayers as well. Take Care!! Tory, Hrudey's momma