Euthanasia, Help me to accept I did the right thing Options

[sheps mama]

I am new to the forum & don't know if I am using it properly, please bear with me. I have just lost my precious Old English Sheepdog, Shep. He was 14 1/2 years old and I don't think I will ever feel normal again. The vet advised us over a month ago to put him to sleep as old age was wrecking his body. He was having problems walking at times but his spirit was willing - it was just his body that was letting him down. He was clearly suffering froom old age but because we were with him all the time, it seemed very gradual to us and not as bad as the vet made out. We love this boy with every bit of us and now the pain is just too much to bear. He was the most loving, giving creature and now I feel that I have let him down just when he needed us most. We did the inevitable yesterday and I feel like someone has ripped me apart from the inside out. I have cried, screamed and shouted and nothing is making this feeling of overwhelming guilt & sorrow go away. How could I have believed that we were doing this for his good? I held his head in my hands as he slipped away and now his face is haunting my every moment. I knew I would never ever be ready to accept that it was his time but now I feel that he wasn't ready either - the way he looked at me as he slipped away - I will never ever forgive myself. I feel that life has just lost it's sparkle and I will never here or see my precious boy again. Can someone please help me believe that we did the right thing before I lose my mind altogether?

[Moose Mom]

Debbie

It's good to know that you have been where I am and are still out there, helping others come to terms with the passing of a beloved animal. Don't you sometimes wish that you weren't so sensitive? That it really didn't upset you this much?

You know, while it would be eaiser if we didn't feel so much, I wouldn't want to just 'get over it'. Our fur children are so special, they give us so much love and joy, it would feel to me that I was not respecting that. It's part of the love between us that makes it so special while we have them and so hard when they go, but gives us such wonderful memories. Right now you are finding it hard to access the good times, but they will give you so much joy and comfort later. I love that you found a great memory to share already, remember the joy of that time.

Since Shep's passing, I have vowed that i will never have another animal share my life becasue it is just too painful when you need to let them go. But I hope this changes

For 14 and a bit more years you had great joy from your wonderful Shep. I does hurt so much when you lose them, but remember the joy. If you think about 14 years of love and joy, perhaps you can find a time when you can share your life with another fur kid, I wish and hope this happens for you. When you think of it, you have pain now, and it is almost unbareable. But somehow we do survive it. In the end the sadness is small and the joy is huge.

Don't let what your partner needs distract you from what you need. Grieve in the way and for as long as seems best to you.

Love
Lori