Euthanasia, Help me to accept I did the right thing Options

[sheps mama]

I am new to the forum & don't know if I am using it properly, please bear with me. I have just lost my precious Old English Sheepdog, Shep. He was 14 1/2 years old and I don't think I will ever feel normal again. The vet advised us over a month ago to put him to sleep as old age was wrecking his body. He was having problems walking at times but his spirit was willing - it was just his body that was letting him down. He was clearly suffering froom old age but because we were with him all the time, it seemed very gradual to us and not as bad as the vet made out. We love this boy with every bit of us and now the pain is just too much to bear. He was the most loving, giving creature and now I feel that I have let him down just when he needed us most. We did the inevitable yesterday and I feel like someone has ripped me apart from the inside out. I have cried, screamed and shouted and nothing is making this feeling of overwhelming guilt & sorrow go away. How could I have believed that we were doing this for his good? I held his head in my hands as he slipped away and now his face is haunting my every moment. I knew I would never ever be ready to accept that it was his time but now I feel that he wasn't ready either - the way he looked at me as he slipped away - I will never ever forgive myself. I feel that life has just lost it's sparkle and I will never here or see my precious boy again. Can someone please help me believe that we did the right thing before I lose my mind altogether?

[Moose Mom]

Oh Debbie

I'm so sorry you lost your Shep. He sounds wonderful. It's so hard to lose them. I know you are filled with guilt right now, I hope the other posts have helped you, they are very profound. I just have a couple of things I'd like to say.

First know that the first week is the hardest. While it does get some better it is a slow and painful process. When a loved one dies our reality changes. We never "get over it" or 'get back to normal" we just learn to live in the new reality. Without them.

Know you did the best for Shep, that you loved him the best you could. Let the guilt go. Take care of yourself, whatever your partner wants. We lost our Moustache kitty on October 23rd. I couldn't even stand people on tv to be happy for a while. If they were I had to change the channel. Let whatever you are feeling be okay, okay?

Thinking of you and your Shep
Lori