Euthanasia, Help me to accept I did the right thing Options

[sheps mama]

I am new to the forum & don't know if I am using it properly, please bear with me. I have just lost my precious Old English Sheepdog, Shep. He was 14 1/2 years old and I don't think I will ever feel normal again. The vet advised us over a month ago to put him to sleep as old age was wrecking his body. He was having problems walking at times but his spirit was willing - it was just his body that was letting him down. He was clearly suffering froom old age but because we were with him all the time, it seemed very gradual to us and not as bad as the vet made out. We love this boy with every bit of us and now the pain is just too much to bear. He was the most loving, giving creature and now I feel that I have let him down just when he needed us most. We did the inevitable yesterday and I feel like someone has ripped me apart from the inside out. I have cried, screamed and shouted and nothing is making this feeling of overwhelming guilt & sorrow go away. How could I have believed that we were doing this for his good? I held his head in my hands as he slipped away and now his face is haunting my every moment. I knew I would never ever be ready to accept that it was his time but now I feel that he wasn't ready either - the way he looked at me as he slipped away - I will never ever forgive myself. I feel that life has just lost it's sparkle and I will never here or see my precious boy again. Can someone please help me believe that we did the right thing before I lose my mind altogether?

[myhrtisbrkn]

[SIZE=7]
Dear Sheps Mom,
I am so sorry for your loss. The sad truth is that when we are this bonded to a beloved pet the loss is unbearable whatever the cir%%stances.
Sept 2, we lost our magnificent 8 year old lab-cross, Mack, to hemangiosarcoma, a horrible cancer that swept through him like wildfire. I had driven him across Texas to see a specialist only to have her tell me the cancer had spread to his lungs, and the humane thing to do would be to euthanize him.
In despair, I called my family vet who said "get them to transfuse him (hs causes bleeding), and bring him home. We can keep him comfortable, and if we are lucky he may die peacefully at home."
So I took him home to his Dad, I watched him every second for signs that he was in pain, and he rested comfortably at home about a week, then closed his eyes in my arms one night, and was gone. My final prayer for him had been answered, yet we were devastated.
Four months later, I still miss him every hour, I still shed tears every day. I was prepared to euthanize my beautiful Mack to spare him pain. Only the certainty that I did the right thing for him eases mine.
You did the right thing for Shep. That is the covenant we enter into with our pets. Because they can't chose, we must chose for them according to our best judgement, no matter the cost to us, and the rest is in the hands of the creator.
You are in my thoughts and prayers, until you and your sweet dog are reunited, in the sweet hereafter.
Sincerely,
Dayna