Euthanasia, Help me to accept I did the right thing Options

[sheps mama]

I am new to the forum & don't know if I am using it properly, please bear with me. I have just lost my precious Old English Sheepdog, Shep. He was 14 1/2 years old and I don't think I will ever feel normal again. The vet advised us over a month ago to put him to sleep as old age was wrecking his body. He was having problems walking at times but his spirit was willing - it was just his body that was letting him down. He was clearly suffering froom old age but because we were with him all the time, it seemed very gradual to us and not as bad as the vet made out. We love this boy with every bit of us and now the pain is just too much to bear. He was the most loving, giving creature and now I feel that I have let him down just when he needed us most. We did the inevitable yesterday and I feel like someone has ripped me apart from the inside out. I have cried, screamed and shouted and nothing is making this feeling of overwhelming guilt & sorrow go away. How could I have believed that we were doing this for his good? I held his head in my hands as he slipped away and now his face is haunting my every moment. I knew I would never ever be ready to accept that it was his time but now I feel that he wasn't ready either - the way he looked at me as he slipped away - I will never ever forgive myself. I feel that life has just lost it's sparkle and I will never here or see my precious boy again. Can someone please help me believe that we did the right thing before I lose my mind altogether?

[ryancat]

Dear Shep's mom,I am so sorry for your loss.I am so glad you have found this place.It is a wonderful forum and everyone here is going thur the same thing that you are.The feelings you are having right now are totally normal.You did the right thing...I know it's hard to accept that but you did.I know what your going thur because I had to go thur the same thing back in Oct. My kitty Sox had feline diabetes and kidney failure.We had to make the decision to put him to sleep and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.I thought my heart would rip out.....But,sweetie you did what was best for him.He was in pain and was living his life in a failing body that would certainly fail him.You chose to end his pain and he is not mad at you for doing that.....he loved you and he knew that you did what was best for him.I know that's hard to accept but when we take on a pet we take with it the responsibilty to do what's best for them.You had a long life with your boy Shep and the pain you are going thur right now is unbearable.It will get easier to deal with as time goes by and you will be able to look back on his life with smiles instead of tears.It's going to take some time so you need to be gentle with yourself.Please stop feeling guilty that you did something wrong because you didn't.You did what you had to do.Your sweet boy wouldn't want you to feel this way.Can you tell us a little bit about your boy Shep? I would love to see a picture.Feel free to come here as often as you need to.We all understand your pain because we are going thur the same thing.My thoughts and prayers are with you.Sincerely,Renee (Sox's mom)