Rest In Peace Cont. Options

[SJ J & S]

My intentions were to leave Rest in peace in peace but if I don’t talk on here I end up talking to myself and we don’t want the men in white coats coming and taking me away do we?
Well my darlings I have made it through today, although there is still 2 1/2 hours to go.
Yesterday was hard a client took us out for a meal and I could feel the tears welling up and in spite of my efforts a few escaped. But in all it was a nice evening.
Since your 6/3rd anniversary I’ve been trying to be positive and in all I think I’ve done pretty well.
I really was expecting today to be so hard but Fri and Sat were worse, I guess a bit like not looking forward to going to the dentist and after it wasn’t as bad as you expected, I guess that means I’m on the mend though I do still miss you terribly and think of you 100s of times during the day.
Ian and I went to the Barge today and reminisced about some of the antics you got up to during your short lives, we were laughing and not crying which was lovely.
I actually feel at peace, at the moment anyway, and think I’m ready to start doing some sort of exercising, still well see in the morning I always feel so tired and can only just be bothered to get ready for work.
Its funny I've just realised I've felt like this all-day, kind of peaceful and happy to sit back and watch the world go by, it’s a nice feeling.
Love you both and looking forward to the day we can see each other again, but until then I guess life does go on.
Love and kisses
Sue ************************xx

[SJ J & S]

Sorry bout last night I never meant to make you all start thinking…
I don’t know what to get Ian for his birthday so I suggested that the mobile phones we wanted (you know the ones that take photos) we get for each other for his birthdays cause I wouldn’t appreciate anything he gets me in Dec and that started me crying.
Then Ian kept me awake tossing and turning and the spare bed was covered in rubbish so I tried to sleep in the room we had Jude put to sleep in and my god the turmoil that was going through my brain was unbelievable.
Anyway as I've always said if I post on here I stop thinking and go to sleep and that’s exactly what happened last night, its like once I've said/typed it its out of my brain and I can at last rest – if that makes sense????