Where Are The Animal Lovers? Options

[Furkidlets' Mom]

I'm sick to my stomach, with my grief and with the human race during my grief! I thought I had a decent plan to get through the holidays by breaking up this horrid sorrow with a little bit of 'socializing', something we'd done very little of while tending to Nissa when she was still alive. That plan has suddenly and sickeningly turned very sour and basically ruined any hopes I had for helping myself over these dreaded holidays.

We attended the first Christmas get-together with some folks from my H's workplace last night...and I was sickened by their selfish, insensitive and downright cruel att*itudes about animals. The hosts had 2 dogs, but all hopes of getting to visit at length with these darling boys were immediately dashed. These people don't allow their dogs in the house more than once/week, and then only in the basement. The husband got a new puppy for reasons incomprehensible, since he neglects both dogs terribly, as do even their 2 young boys and teenage daughter. The wife never wanted another dog, period, so will have nothing to do with the new dog. Their first dog was formerly abused badly (by someone else), but seems to be valued mostly because he was trained as a military dog and so has learned to "never bark", be completely docile and obedient and essentially be more of a 'showpiece' than a dog. He was bitten by the newer puppy (both Labs) and had had a bad abcess which the husband "didn't notice for quite a time." He has arthritis starting in one hip. He's a 'model' dog, never complaining...yet still isn't allowed to live inside with his family. The husband complained about the recent $500 vet bill for this abcess.....THEN told us he'd been thinking of getting yet another puppy!! The existing puppy will likely end up getting mauled by their neighbour's dog, who is even MORE neglected, being left outside all day, every day, and has chased the hosts' children many times. The new puppy is already 'escaping' their backyard by crawling into the neighbour's yard (under the fence) to be able to greet the kids when they come home from school...and no one's seeing to fixing the fence. The wife hates the puppy....because he CHEWS things in his boredom. (well, DUH!) Neither of them have ever had a puppy before now, and are clueless about them.

Other guests (all females, yet) spoke of "bagging deer" should they wander through the front yard there; their cats, (who remained nameless throughout the conversation) who had serious health problems (like kidney disease) which weren't being addressed whatsoever; absolute ignorance and no concern about health care; total disregard and disrespect for wildlife, etc.....and on and on it went, through the entire evening. I, on the other hand, had spoken for a brief time (before I realized what kind of a crowd I was in) about our loss of Nissa, the constant and loving care I took of her, her value to us, the 'sacrifices' we made on hers and her brother's behalf through the years. All fell upon deaf ears.

We ended up giving the host heck (in a friendly yet assertive fashion) about his neglect of his dogs and their care, challenging his complaints about the vet bills by 'daring' him to compare their pittance to OURS through the years (my H 'warned' him to "don't even GO there, with US", as we'd put him to total shame!) and tried our best to make him aware of what he needed to be doing for these 2 great dogs, and that they were WORTH spending more time, attention and necessary money on!!

We both left upset....with humans, once again severely disappointing us and all the animals of the world...not wanting to get to know ANY of these people even marginally...both realizing that no matter where we seem to go, who we seem to meet...in the end, it's always the same. When it comes to caring for and about animals...most humans are sorry excuses for life, our feline son's and daughter's lives and deaths are meaningless to them, our grief, and therefore our very selves, are nothing less than weird and totally alien to them, and worst, there seems to be NO hope of ever finding anyone, in person, to whom I can even begin to relate to...when I need that kind of relationship the most right now! I am truly alone and ostrasized in my grief and in my love for the creatures who preceded OUR highly questionable existence here. Humans make me sick (except for those of you here, of course and those I read about but never get to meet) and so ashamed to be part of this twisted species. I can't and don't even want to understand these people, and never have. I don't belong here. As such, there is no real hope for me to heal among those of my own species and I don't know where to find the rare exceptions to the rule. It was my darling Nissa and Sabin who always gave me refuge from the cruelties of humans in this world. And now, I have only an empty house to come home to after such assaults on my sensibilities. Where will I ever FIND other animal lovers nearby????

[mosmommy]

Yeah, you are right about the email thing, so many forwards and no way of knowing their content until you read. Perhaps her interpretation was different, and she really believes she caused no harm, even though you told her. I know many of my "friends" and "family" all thought they knew what was best for me when I was ( or am ) grieving, and they isolated me (at my request) to give me time. The problem with that was when I needed them , they were still gone. That led me to feel abandoned and angry, and my life and my relationships since I lost my sweet Mo, are irreparably changed. I am mostly on my own now, with very little communication with any of them. Even my hunny and I have been together for 17 years ( since high school), and our relationship is different. He didn't do anything wrong, but I changed alot! Insensitivity is EVERYWHERE! It all affected me on a permanent basis, and I didn't have alot of my animal family here to help me cope, and they were and are the most sensitive and helpful ones. I finally had to go back to my old counselor after 3 years of not needing her assistance, to deal with the grief and anger towards those people in my life- I'm still working on it .
As far as the fox hormone, I believe it is a similated one and not the real thing, but I'll have to look through my huge stack of catalogs to find it and be sure. The mice "think" it's real though, so it does it's job. One person that has used it is probably one of the greatest animal lovers I know, so I'm sure she wouldn't have used it if it harmed the beautiful foxes. I'll try calling her today, but she is elderly and hasn't been feeling well, so I'm not sure if I'll get a quick response. She used it to keep the mice out of her pet bird house ( I hate to use the word "pet", but I didn't want you to think she was keeping wild birds in captivity) and the only reason she didn't want them there, is that they were getting injured when someone would try to open the door to feed the birds. She actually has mice living in her walls, and they come out from behind the stove every morning for their toast that she gives them.
Take care and I'll keep you posted, and you keep me posted.
Love,
Michelle