Where Are The Animal Lovers? Options

[Furkidlets' Mom]

I'm sick to my stomach, with my grief and with the human race during my grief! I thought I had a decent plan to get through the holidays by breaking up this horrid sorrow with a little bit of 'socializing', something we'd done very little of while tending to Nissa when she was still alive. That plan has suddenly and sickeningly turned very sour and basically ruined any hopes I had for helping myself over these dreaded holidays.

We attended the first Christmas get-together with some folks from my H's workplace last night...and I was sickened by their selfish, insensitive and downright cruel att*itudes about animals. The hosts had 2 dogs, but all hopes of getting to visit at length with these darling boys were immediately dashed. These people don't allow their dogs in the house more than once/week, and then only in the basement. The husband got a new puppy for reasons incomprehensible, since he neglects both dogs terribly, as do even their 2 young boys and teenage daughter. The wife never wanted another dog, period, so will have nothing to do with the new dog. Their first dog was formerly abused badly (by someone else), but seems to be valued mostly because he was trained as a military dog and so has learned to "never bark", be completely docile and obedient and essentially be more of a 'showpiece' than a dog. He was bitten by the newer puppy (both Labs) and had had a bad abcess which the husband "didn't notice for quite a time." He has arthritis starting in one hip. He's a 'model' dog, never complaining...yet still isn't allowed to live inside with his family. The husband complained about the recent $500 vet bill for this abcess.....THEN told us he'd been thinking of getting yet another puppy!! The existing puppy will likely end up getting mauled by their neighbour's dog, who is even MORE neglected, being left outside all day, every day, and has chased the hosts' children many times. The new puppy is already 'escaping' their backyard by crawling into the neighbour's yard (under the fence) to be able to greet the kids when they come home from school...and no one's seeing to fixing the fence. The wife hates the puppy....because he CHEWS things in his boredom. (well, DUH!) Neither of them have ever had a puppy before now, and are clueless about them.

Other guests (all females, yet) spoke of "bagging deer" should they wander through the front yard there; their cats, (who remained nameless throughout the conversation) who had serious health problems (like kidney disease) which weren't being addressed whatsoever; absolute ignorance and no concern about health care; total disregard and disrespect for wildlife, etc.....and on and on it went, through the entire evening. I, on the other hand, had spoken for a brief time (before I realized what kind of a crowd I was in) about our loss of Nissa, the constant and loving care I took of her, her value to us, the 'sacrifices' we made on hers and her brother's behalf through the years. All fell upon deaf ears.

We ended up giving the host heck (in a friendly yet assertive fashion) about his neglect of his dogs and their care, challenging his complaints about the vet bills by 'daring' him to compare their pittance to OURS through the years (my H 'warned' him to "don't even GO there, with US", as we'd put him to total shame!) and tried our best to make him aware of what he needed to be doing for these 2 great dogs, and that they were WORTH spending more time, attention and necessary money on!!

We both left upset....with humans, once again severely disappointing us and all the animals of the world...not wanting to get to know ANY of these people even marginally...both realizing that no matter where we seem to go, who we seem to meet...in the end, it's always the same. When it comes to caring for and about animals...most humans are sorry excuses for life, our feline son's and daughter's lives and deaths are meaningless to them, our grief, and therefore our very selves, are nothing less than weird and totally alien to them, and worst, there seems to be NO hope of ever finding anyone, in person, to whom I can even begin to relate to...when I need that kind of relationship the most right now! I am truly alone and ostrasized in my grief and in my love for the creatures who preceded OUR highly questionable existence here. Humans make me sick (except for those of you here, of course and those I read about but never get to meet) and so ashamed to be part of this twisted species. I can't and don't even want to understand these people, and never have. I don't belong here. As such, there is no real hope for me to heal among those of my own species and I don't know where to find the rare exceptions to the rule. It was my darling Nissa and Sabin who always gave me refuge from the cruelties of humans in this world. And now, I have only an empty house to come home to after such assaults on my sensibilities. Where will I ever FIND other animal lovers nearby????

[Furkidlets' Mom]

Thank you, Michelle, not only for your empathetic and wise thoughts, but for that suggestion! AND for your unequivocally honest first remark! I find it refreshing and hopeful to hear from others who get just as incensed as me about such matters of the heart.

In my grief, my head's not working too well when I want it to, so I'd never even thought of wildlife groups....not a bad idea. I'll look into it in the next while and see what there is out here (as long as they aren't harbouring hidden agendas for hunting 'conservation'; pretty popular in these parts!)

I'm also so sorry about your mousies (as well as all your other losses!). I know all animals, birds, reptiles, fish, etc. are all so special in their own ways, and it's just up to us to SEE and acknowledge that...but most never do. It's somehow 'beneath' them to admit that other species are equally as important and valuable as we are. Gotta hate that human superiority thing...

If you haven't yet read Kim Sheridan's "Animals and the Afterlife", I think you might like to, as her main loves have been rats, and while I already knew that rats were supposed to be very endearing, her own detailed stories of those she has loved and lost were total clinchers for me. And although I just seem to have a real draw towards felines, for some reason (must have been one myself in another life, I suspect!), her book had me wondering if I'd also like to share my life with some rats someday, too....IF they and any future cats can end up loving each other, too. I imagine mice are pretty similar, being of the same family. You'd probably also enjoy "Blessing the Bridge" by Rita Reynolds, who includes a poignant story of some mouse babies she tried to save. (she also saves insects and the 'lowliest' forms of life, continually, as I try to most of the time, too)

I have to admit that I always felt very hypocritical when I let our kidlets catch and eat mice and other rodents (and the very occasional bird) outdoors (I know, you're probably cringing and sickened by that, too....I understand, really!), and it was an inner battle that raged between my love of our felines and their natural desires and my love of all creatures....especially since I also thought the mousies were so sweet, too...even if they did chew parts of our house to pieces! I kept pleading with them to please just stay outdoors under our deck and in the garden and even tried some communications with them at times, as I'd read about this being successful from others who'd done this. (tried this with our ants, too) But I'm pretty sure, come Spring, we'll hear them in our walls again. I cant' tell you how many dozens we've tried our best to relocate well away from our place...not sure if they're still finding their way back, or if it's just new ones moving into the yard. There's just no finding where they're getting in (so we can plug holes up), as we have so much garden space, structures and hardscaping right up against the house...so we just have to live with any damage...probably a fair trade-off for them anyway, as we humans have damaged so much more of their natural habitat, by comparison, than they ever have of ours. (if you know of any other ways to discourage them from coming indoors, let me know!) One of our treasured pics of Nissa is one of her peaking out from one side of some small rocks, watching the mousie who's crawling underneath the rocks on the other side....so cute because it shows them BOTH looking so adorable, but extra-sweet because we know that, in this case, that mousie never got found by her, either, so all was well. The no-kill shelter woman I know also used to keep rescued mice when she was a young girl. It's terrible how most people label all sorts of creatures, even cats, as "vermin", whenever they DARE to try and exist close by...as if we're the only ones who are allowed to take up any precious space here! (it's not the animals who are ruining all our space....it's humans)

Thank you, too, for the encouragement to speak up on their behalf (I usually do anyway), as the anger comes even quicker when I'm so raw with sorrow.

You've certainly had more than your fair share of losses, Michelle, and I wish I could just change that for you...forever. It certainly seems to be the price we pay for caring and loving...not that that seems fair at ALL! Yes, the 'reward' is in the very act of loving, extending that love outwards to other souls, but still....I think it's time for a huge act of re-cocreation in our minds. If we could finally, actually evolve enough to part that veil and really SEE the Other Side, our REAL 'Side' of existence...then the hurt and sense of 'separation' could all just dissipate. I want us all to become mediums, so we can ALL, throughout the entire world, know for certain that our loved ones still are here, there and everywhere, AND so that everyone would know that ALL creatures are souls/spirits, just like us and are therefore worthy of every inherent right we all are potentially worthy of....and we wouldn't then have to wait for 'death' to keep experiencing life with them. A Pie-In-The-Sky dream?? I hope not.