Where Are The Animal Lovers? Options

[Furkidlets' Mom]

I'm sick to my stomach, with my grief and with the human race during my grief! I thought I had a decent plan to get through the holidays by breaking up this horrid sorrow with a little bit of 'socializing', something we'd done very little of while tending to Nissa when she was still alive. That plan has suddenly and sickeningly turned very sour and basically ruined any hopes I had for helping myself over these dreaded holidays.

We attended the first Christmas get-together with some folks from my H's workplace last night...and I was sickened by their selfish, insensitive and downright cruel att*itudes about animals. The hosts had 2 dogs, but all hopes of getting to visit at length with these darling boys were immediately dashed. These people don't allow their dogs in the house more than once/week, and then only in the basement. The husband got a new puppy for reasons incomprehensible, since he neglects both dogs terribly, as do even their 2 young boys and teenage daughter. The wife never wanted another dog, period, so will have nothing to do with the new dog. Their first dog was formerly abused badly (by someone else), but seems to be valued mostly because he was trained as a military dog and so has learned to "never bark", be completely docile and obedient and essentially be more of a 'showpiece' than a dog. He was bitten by the newer puppy (both Labs) and had had a bad abcess which the husband "didn't notice for quite a time." He has arthritis starting in one hip. He's a 'model' dog, never complaining...yet still isn't allowed to live inside with his family. The husband complained about the recent $500 vet bill for this abcess.....THEN told us he'd been thinking of getting yet another puppy!! The existing puppy will likely end up getting mauled by their neighbour's dog, who is even MORE neglected, being left outside all day, every day, and has chased the hosts' children many times. The new puppy is already 'escaping' their backyard by crawling into the neighbour's yard (under the fence) to be able to greet the kids when they come home from school...and no one's seeing to fixing the fence. The wife hates the puppy....because he CHEWS things in his boredom. (well, DUH!) Neither of them have ever had a puppy before now, and are clueless about them.

Other guests (all females, yet) spoke of "bagging deer" should they wander through the front yard there; their cats, (who remained nameless throughout the conversation) who had serious health problems (like kidney disease) which weren't being addressed whatsoever; absolute ignorance and no concern about health care; total disregard and disrespect for wildlife, etc.....and on and on it went, through the entire evening. I, on the other hand, had spoken for a brief time (before I realized what kind of a crowd I was in) about our loss of Nissa, the constant and loving care I took of her, her value to us, the 'sacrifices' we made on hers and her brother's behalf through the years. All fell upon deaf ears.

We ended up giving the host heck (in a friendly yet assertive fashion) about his neglect of his dogs and their care, challenging his complaints about the vet bills by 'daring' him to compare their pittance to OURS through the years (my H 'warned' him to "don't even GO there, with US", as we'd put him to total shame!) and tried our best to make him aware of what he needed to be doing for these 2 great dogs, and that they were WORTH spending more time, attention and necessary money on!!

We both left upset....with humans, once again severely disappointing us and all the animals of the world...not wanting to get to know ANY of these people even marginally...both realizing that no matter where we seem to go, who we seem to meet...in the end, it's always the same. When it comes to caring for and about animals...most humans are sorry excuses for life, our feline son's and daughter's lives and deaths are meaningless to them, our grief, and therefore our very selves, are nothing less than weird and totally alien to them, and worst, there seems to be NO hope of ever finding anyone, in person, to whom I can even begin to relate to...when I need that kind of relationship the most right now! I am truly alone and ostrasized in my grief and in my love for the creatures who preceded OUR highly questionable existence here. Humans make me sick (except for those of you here, of course and those I read about but never get to meet) and so ashamed to be part of this twisted species. I can't and don't even want to understand these people, and never have. I don't belong here. As such, there is no real hope for me to heal among those of my own species and I don't know where to find the rare exceptions to the rule. It was my darling Nissa and Sabin who always gave me refuge from the cruelties of humans in this world. And now, I have only an empty house to come home to after such assaults on my sensibilities. Where will I ever FIND other animal lovers nearby????

[Furkidlets' Mom]

Hi, Michelle and Simba's Daddy,

Thank you for some cyber-shoulders to lean on through this.

Yes, we tried our best to give these poor doggies as much affection and appreciation of their existence as we could in the 2 short visits we were allowed with them that evening...and boy, could you ever tell how very much they appreciated it, especially the older dog...who really is a total sweetheart.

We'd started out thinking that these people were quite nice, since it was them who took in this poor guy when the husband was still in the military. The wife told us this dog always got terrified whenever he saw a female in uniform, as that's who it was who abused him so terribly at the start. But then I heard all about their 'living' arrangements, and realized that they just liked to appear to be 'heroes' in his story, but their hearts were still in the wrong place. I even play-smacked the husband's arm when we were leaving and making our points about taking them out DAILY for exercise and fun, I was so frustrated. I figured this might drive the point home more, seeing as I'd just met this guy and it wasn't really a 'proper' thing to do with a virtual stranger! He runs miles during a week, yet only takes the dogs out about ONCE OR TWICE/week! How selfish is THAT?! And according to his wife, he's doing good if he remembers to clean up the pup's poop (in the garage) twice/week!!! And I kept harping about it being time to "bring them INSIDE!", especially now that the older dog has arthritis. But, knowing most people, he won't listen to good advise. If I could be a Superhero, I'd want to be known as "Super Defender of Animals"! What a satisfying job THAT would be! Swooping in and taking animals away from the less desireable types and placing them at the feet of those who REALLY want them!

Simba's Daddy, I'm so glad you were able to effect some change for your brother's one dog and that you spoke up freely about the situation! Way to go! Maybe you should ask your brother exactly the same question about a potential cat that you posed here...try to make him see all the ramifications from the cat's point of view, before he acts impulsively? Sigh....everywhere we look, we can too easily see people USING animals for their own, selfish ends....it makes me sick. WHEN will the human race grow up and accept that animals have their own, inherent value, just by being living, feeling, thinking creatures...as WE'RE supposed to be (the feeling and thinking parts are often severly lacking in our own species)?! We weren't ever meant to USE them, but to care for them!

This is the absolute worst time to be subjected to these horrors, while I'm still so early into the grief. It was always bad enough normally, when things were going okay for Nissa (and Sabin)...but now....now I just want to dispense with the diplomacy and utilize a mind-altering super-probe instead on these people!...and I know I'd have steady and unrelenting work ahead of me for years and years. So I keep trying to come up with some way, some events or organizations I could join in on, to try and actually meet people, in person, who already 'get' how valuable and precious animals are...but not something as direct (yet) as volunteering for a no-kill shelter, as the pain of seeing the homeless and abused would kill me right now...and not breeder groups, either, as they're part of the overpopulation problem. Anyone got any other ideas for something less traumatic right now that would still get me into a more caring circle of folks?