Watching Their Death, vs being out of the room Options

[samara]

My final moments that I remember of Twinkie were of him struggling with the tape on his feet. He was scared when the cold saline ran through his line and he looked up at me with these big scared eyes. Then, the euth solution was given to him and he was gone. Completely gone. His body was there but his soul was not. His long, white tail that he always held so high and proud was limp in my hands. These memories are burned into my memory and they are the source of a lot of pain.

The social worker and vet told me this was the best way to do it. That way, I can see him go in peace. I don't know that I feel that it was the best way because the memories are so vivid and I replay them in my mind, which causes more grief.

I was there when my little Twinkers died. It's just so incredibly sad to think about. I just waved my magic pet owner wand and Twinks life was over before my eyes. It was so painful. It wasn't helpful for closure and it just makes me miserable to think about.

So why the he ll did they encourage me to watch this?!?!?!?

[Precious' mom]

I had to be with Precious at the end. I wasn't there at the beginning of life but I felt he wanted me to be there when it ended. He was so much my right arm and letting him go was like whacking it off with a machete. But I knew it had to be done because he was almost gone anyway so he went very peacefully.
I still think about what happened that day but not as much as I used to. I'm still healing; it's terribly hard after almost 19 years with a cat that was loved very much. I still love him more than ever and know he is in a much better place...but he is also still with me in many ways!!
Lisa